Each Chapter Has Its Motto

I seem to have little mottoes for the different chapters of my life. They come from the whisperings of the Spirit that I seem to hear over and over again in my heart and my mind during that period of time. My latest motto has become "Dig Deep with Joyful Courage". I have come to think of it as empowering myself to chose to be happy and to meet the challenges in front of me. I have often gone to the Lord in prayer with a heavy heart and come to the conclusion that I am strong enough to not stress it, that I must pick myself up and get to work. I am to decide to not worry because I cant afford to spend my time on it. This is a little new for me. I am one to embrace my feelings. I like to mull them over and come to an emotional resolution and usually feel that I have grown and am better for it. But these days its not so. I just don't have the emotional space to do that anymore. I have got to get going and let those emotions diminish on their own. I started a daily journal to help me in this. When I feel weighed down by something I type it up, get it out, and then get on with my day. It has been really helpful. Life is going so quickly and I want to live every moment of it and not waste my precious time. Tonight I had to do just this. I had some hitch surface about the thing I am putting on this weekend = stress, the house was a disaster even though it had been spotless just that morning, the kids didn't eat the dinner I cooked and made a huge mess with it (Angeli spilled my juice all over the table and Bridger grabbed a handful of crackers crushed them in his hand and then threw them in the air, Bnejie was a standard 11 month old and had half his food on him,the floor, and his high chair), I had spent most the day doing ceramics with Bridger's preschool class = work for no pay, the kids had been fighting all day long and crying all most non-stop, and I was so tired. I called Stewart and unloaded a little bit. Then my phone battery died.

I sat there for a moment I wanted to cry BUT that feeling came over me. It seemed to say, "Emily you can do this and it will make you very happy to just dig deep and do it." So I plopped myself down in the middle of the living room and the kids came to me like a magnet. I held all three of them as they jockeyed for the most lap space and we laughed and talked. We wrestled, cuddled, and played until they had their fill. I followed with a little Family Home Evening lesson. Then I got busy cleaning the house, getting the kids in their jammies and brushing their teeth, and ran several loads of laundry.

Later when Stewart called he couldn't believe all that I had gotten done. I felt triumphant and capable. We did scriptures, prayers, and story time with Daddy over the phone. Wished daddy good night and gave our "family kisses" to each other. I tucked my babies into bed and was able to smile about my day. I had dug deep and found joy.

I only hope my next motto can be "Sit Back and Take in The View!" ;O)