Memorial Day Thoughts

I've been thinking about this experience I had once several years ago that really touched my heart. I was flying somewhere, I don't even remember where, but most of the plane had boarded and we were getting settled in and waiting for the plane to take off, it was seaming to take a while for us to get things going. When a Young handsome man in army fatigues came onto the plane with crutches and his right leg had been amputated at the knee. It appeared that his mother was with him. As he started to make his way down the isle all eyes were on him as we were already seated. And then a middle aged man started to clap, and then another person and another and soon the whole plane was clapping for him and then everyone started to stand as he made his way to a seat someone had made available for him. The spirit that was there was so tender and there were many there wiping away tears, me included. It was a remarkable moment. It was a tender moment. I was so grateful for the love that was shown for that young solider who had paid the price of his leg. I was grateful for freedom, for services, for our country that stands as a standard for freedom and democracy to the world, and I was grateful for the goodness of the hearts of everyone on that plane to honor that young man that way.

Good bless America. God bless our soldiers, past and present, who make terrible sacrifices to defend one of God's greatest gifts to his children, the freedom to choose.

Happy Memorial day.

Taking Time to Talk and Listen

So I have lost my journal and so you are getting this entry on blogger. :O)

Growing up my family was really good and talking and listening. We ALWAYS had family dinner together. Always. My mom is an exceptional cook and she has cooked daily dinners for her family for the past 50+ years. Isn't my mom a wonder?!?! We wanted to be there. Meals were delicious and the company was good.  Sundays dinners were special. We'd eat early in the day and then lounge around the table after dinner and talk. We seemed to always talk about the Gospel. I believe every discussion I had with my parents growing up always came back to the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Those talks and how exceptionally my mother listened to me helped shape the way I approach life and how everything to me is seen through Gospel eyes. If you've ever talked to me you've realized that basically everything comes back to my testimony of Jesus Christ. I think that is part of how I came to earth but I know it was largely the family I grew up in. The Gospel was what my mother and father treasured above all else and it was apparent through our interactions and conversations that I saw their example and followed it.

As my children are getting older I have had several promptings lately to create quite time where we can be quiet and thus open to real life conversation. I am really good at filling that quiet time with phone calls, or blogging, or putting on a movie for the kids while I get some chores done, or letting the kids' friends come over a bit too much. And those things aren't always bad but I am sure I have lost some tender teaching moment with my children because of that. I think when my kids are still at an age where they will soak up everything I teach them I realize what a shame that is. I realize while writing this that if I want my kids to turn off their future ipods and phones to take time to talk to me when they are teenagers then I better do that for them now. This world we live in is too vial, distracting, destructive, and secular that you cant just let things go by without the conscious effort to connect with them and combat the negative input that is thrown at them. I want to slow down the moments each day to really look into my children's eyes and listen to the things that they think about and to let them get a glimpse into the thoughts and feelings of my heart. I mean that is the treasure, the gift of being a stay at home mom. The impact a mother has on her children and thus generations of her family are tremendous. I want to have the best impact I can. Helaman said of the stripling warriors, "They rehearsed unto me the words of their mothers, saying: We do not doubt our mothers knew it" Alma 56:48. I want my children to know that they need not doubt when Santa battled against them because if for nothing else their mother knew it.

Today as I did my morning spiritual study I read the article "Taking Time to Talk and Listen"  by Rosemary M. Wixom the Primary General President in the April 2012 Ensign. It priced my heart and I am so grateful to have the spirit guide me to know what I can focus on to be a better mother. It was a perfect message for me to hear today. I had planned a quiet day at home since we have no school and Stewart is on call all day I thought it'd be nice to just stay home and pack some boxes, and go for a bike ride/walk with the kids and just spend time together. Today I will focus on communication with my kids and taking advantage of this quiet day with them. I bet I will have some great conversations with them.

And since I am obsessed right now.....I picture us in our new house in Tucson, and the reason I know it is the right home is that the family I picture us being there is exactly what I want for us. In this remarkable home where we can have fun and be interacting all day long...how perfect. This is going to be a really fabulous chapter of our lives. I can sense that the blessings of this new house will have a spiritual effect on our family. Its funny to say this but it makes me feel so blessed and humble to think that it  is exactly what I have been asking for the past two years. I wanted a bigger better version of our current house. I like us all together, I just wanted more room in our rooms, more windows, and place where we will feel edified and united as a family. Stewart will be so happy in this house he will LOVE playing with the kids and just adore what the house will bring to our family.  I love the feeling that great things are awaiting us. I love sensing the Lords vision for our family and it is such a beautiful vision. I am loving every moment of this new beginning. It is going to be lovely. Just 3 weeks and we are moving. I am cherishing the time we have left here and am so excited for the future we have there. Life is sweet.

Eclipse

So this is just kind of funky but I liked the pics we got of the eclipse...nothing really that note worthy but still it was a cool experience to watch the brightest time of day fade to an eery haze. It was neat to see the funny shadows the moon made on the streaming sun light that hit every thing around us. Kind of cool.

A Little Sister for Me.

I am the baby in my family of 12 kids. I really liked being in my family but I wished I wasn't the baby. I wanted to be ten years older and be able to help out more. I wanted to be in the action and not be the last one who was sort of left behind. In large families when you are the baby you spend about 80% of your existence cheering, loving, adoring, obsessing, praying for, caring, and admiring your older brothers and sisters and then one by one then grow up and move on with their lives and then you find when  your prom day comes that there isn't a crowd of little people starring up at you telling you that you are the pretties girl in the whole world. It is a little sad at times and a little lonely. But I was so blessed when I was teenager. I prayed my sibling back home. I literally did. I prayed that I would have some siblings close by and with in the year I had two brothers and three sisters move back to town. The Lord spoils me sometimes. ;) But I have always wanted a little sister. And that was a gift Stewart gave me. He has the most beautiful, kind, mature, fun, talented, and so fun to giggle with little sister Whitney. She is the little sister I always wanted. I adore her. I really count my in-law family and one of my most treasured possessions. I won the lottery when I married Stewart.

So this past week when we headed on our trek to Arizona to find us a house to live in we broke up the drive so we got to spend some time with Stewart's parents, Whitney, and  Great Grandma Rasmussen. It just so happened that little Miss Whit is approaching the end of her senior year...cant believe it! I mean she was only 9 when Stewart and I got married. tear. Anyways, The first weekend we were there she was prepping to take her senior pictures! Mom asked if I'd take them.Um, yes. What a fun thing to do! and I felt so flattered they'd ask me to do them! It was so fun. I helped her do her make up and pick out a wardrobe and then we headed to the park to play and take pictures. She is so beautiful it was a blast. And I got to be a big sister!


Then on our way back from our Arizona trip we arrived in Vegas on PROM DAY! Ahhhh! so fun. So again we got to do her hair, make-up, and dress her up like a princess and take pictures of her and her handsome Peeta look-a-like date. (Whitney said that when they won laser tag after the dance she thought just how very much they were like Peeta and Katniss! Winning the games! LOL I love that girl!) Anyways, I thought how grateful I was that we got to be there. Every youngest child deserves a little special attention and admiration after all the years they spend cheering for their older brothers and sisters. I hope Whitney knows that everyone cheers for her and adores her even if from afar. And maybe someday when she is married she will have a little sister too, and she can do her hair and adore her and watch her blossom into a perfect rose.

Here are some of my favorite pictures of my little sister. Its been a gift to watch her grow up and bloom into this amazing young women that is so virtuous and lovely. I love her to pieces.

Senior Portraits 

Prom Pictures

So here are the pictures

I didn't want to post pictures because they aren't the greatest...I was sort of embarrassed to be taking them so I just clicked really fast - they were showing us a house that was way above our range and so I felt like I was a total dreamer. PLUS, and this is a big PLUS, if you haven't been introduced to what houses and living is like in AZ then our house will seem lame in these pics, but from what I understand this house is basically the ideal traditional home for AZ. This is something I am still trying to get myself converted to. So this post is not to brag, it is the opposite. Its in an effort to try and talk myself into realizing that we won the lottery with this find of a house. Don't get me wrong, I really really like this house and I know its where the Lord wants us, and I know we will be happy there, but it is different then the white picket fence we all sort of think of. I have this sense that I don't really appreciate how awesome this house is so I am trying to unwrap this gift from Heavenly Father. Here are some things I have learned about AZ living and why this house is the BOMB. ;)

- NO grass....well, you can find it but it is three times harder to find in AZ then in a place like Vegas. AZ, especially Tucson, is not about elevating the dessert into a green oasis like Vegas does its about embracing it in its natural glory. Tucson is all about natural landscaping. There are TONS of trees/shrubbery things growing everywhere...hardly any space is manicured. giant cactus and flowers and green shrubs are the norm. And it all grows all by itself. It is a pretty desert there. The idyllic desert. So much prettier then any desert I have ever lived in. So those of you who are used to not even using sprinklers and enjoy huge green lawns prepare yourself for lots of gravel in these pictures! :) And if you can imagine us saying "wow, that's great there is gravel and its nice gravel!"...try, because gravel is a LOT better then dusty dirt...which is the norm in a rentals' back yard. :)

- location location location. Tucson is small (well, being said from a girl who grew up in LA) and so to wrap our heads around the different areas was pretty simple to do. This house search was all about location. Crime is a huge issue in Tucson with it being something like 100 miles from the boarder. With the drug wars going on in Mexico there is a lot of theft. Grab and run to the boarder in the norm. Advice from locals, get LoJack....good thing we've already got it. With the crime consideration in mind we decided that when people say don't live on that side of town you we wouldn't. seriously. Then the schools are important. AZ has amazing schools. Of course there are bad schools and ok schools but we knew that we could get an EXCELLENT education in Tucson for our kids since it is so common there. Knowing that, we made it our top priority to be in an A+ school. The tricky part was finding an A+ school that wasn't way out of the city limits. We didn't think we could afford a foothill house where the schools are great and the neighborhoods are still close enough to the city where everything is. I didn't want a 30 min. drive to the store like we have now  or longer as it was looking like it was going to be. Tucson is basically all street driving, freeways are sort of on the edge of town so you do not want to have to drive 30 minutes on the freeway just to get into town and then drive another 30 minutes to get to whatever store or appointment you need to be at. The thought of driving for hours each day trying to get to the places I need to on out of the way freeways and slow streets was not appealing to me. BUT Lucky for us we found a house that is right on the edge of the foothills area so we benefit from being in a great school area and are still really close to town and shopping. We will live within 10 minuets from everything I could want. YAY!  Plus our little school is just down the street. YAY! Our house is just down a ways from the Sabino Canyon Natural reserve area. One of the most beautiful desert locations you can think of. Hiking here we come! Oh, and least I forget Stewart can ride his bike to work! Not only will that save gas money but it will get him exercising which he hasn't done regularly since before med school. How fun for him to be able to ride again! He is super excited about it. His father's day gift will be a bike! :O)

-  An Arizona style home verse a traditional home. In AZ you don't want an upstairs. It gets too hot. You want to be as close to the ground as possible. You want brick walls, maybe with stucco on the outside and that is it. From what I gather, 30 years ago that was basically all that was built here...but with more and more conformity builders are building more traditional style homes, but old school locals will tell you old construction can be way better then new construction in AZ. And that is what we have. This house is so low to the ground it looks silly from the outside. We drove up and I just giggled at it. And the pic at the top really shows you what I mean. LOL What you don't see in that picture is that it is nice, totally re-painted and very well taken care of, on the other side of the front there is a huge cactus and some more shrubs and then this long drive way. I already have planned to plant some flowering shrubs in the front to give it at least a little curb appeal! LOL. But it is this squat little funny house set in the middle of what looks like half an acre of gravel. oh, giggle. But we walked in and it was so cool in there. Like the temperature was great without any AC. Really nice. And this house has a grand total of 9 ceiling fans, and they are all nice too.  I think we will be very comfortable there, plus they just put in a brand new AC unit. score!

- Out door living. besides the summer living, which is what the rest of us would mirror during the winter as far as staying inside all the time, AZ peeps are outside the rest of the year. And this house was built for outdoor living. We have three very large patios, one is so nice its called an Arizona room which has been fully screened, wired, and has a ceiling fan. It is huge. I think we will be using it as the kids play area/family room/ pool dry off place. :O)- insert my husband saying "and with what money will we be creating such a space" to which I replay "in time, in time".... - :)  In addition to that we have an wired outdoor covered dinning room and then a front porch which I am not sure what to do with just yet. maybe a seated swing thingy....who knows. Then we have a nice pool with a little slide which the kids are so excited about and then a really large gravel area which I hope to put the trampoline and a little swing set on. Then there is a little concrete area in the back corner that I think I would like to put the fire pit there and some chairs for when we roast marshmallows. In my dream world we'd buy the tent thing I saw on pintrest that goes on top of the trampoline and then we could do Fall and Spring camp-outs in the back yard: doing a BBQ, roasting marshmallows, going for a swim, and sleeping outside. Bridger would be in HEAVEN! Everyone, spring break at my house! :O)

- The Kitchen. I love the kitchen. hmmm. the Lord loves me. This is a cooking for company kitchen...or maybe just cooking for a family of 6 sort of kitchen :) but whichever, I love it. I have wanted a space for my kids to do their homework that wouldn't be also needed on a daily basis for something else like our DINNER! So what will I get to use? There is a very large bar that I plan on turning into the homework area. I think I will store paper, crayons, scissors, and stuff in the draws underneath and the kids will sit there while I cook dinner and do their homework until they get old enough to need their own quiet space to do their homework. I am really excited about that prospect. Plus there is a double oven...Thanksgiving will be so much easier with that extra oven. joy. (when stew saw the kitchen he said "and here is where you can cook so many yummy things for me!") LOL

- The Garage. The garage is Stewart's thing. It has a ceiling fan and a TV box and I can see Stewart going into his "DEN" and cutting his latest wood project watching a TV show while he sands and all that jazz. He'll love it. Plus there is a very long drive way which I know the kids will enjoy riding their bikes on. husband joy.

- Entertaining. We love to entertain. We have hosted many 20+ guest parties at our tiny house and now we will have a house that was built for entertaining. It really was built for a party. everything flows and with so many large gathering spaces that link together and link outside it is perfect for a Ward BBQ or something like that. Stewart said he will be so excited to host his radiology peeps over for dinners and stuff. He'll really enjoy that.

So that is basically the deal with this house. It has large closets, nice upgrades throughout including the bathrooms and kitchen and with weekly pool service included and essentially no yard care its the bomb Arizona living. the bedrooms are good sizes which is really a nice upgrade for us since our rooms are all very small currently. I think we are very blessed and we will be very happy there!



view from entry way

Riding Our Arizona Roller Coaster

Well it has been such a trip! The highs have been really great, and the lows have been really low. Sometimes I wonder if anything will ever go smoothly for us. ;-) But anyways we found a house in a "only god could have made this happen" sort of way. And after knowing its the house for us we have been fighting for it on the faith that we will be able to afford it. Its so interesting and sometimes annoying that as responsible and prayerful as we are Heavenly Father seems set on us being house poor forever. Lol I guess we are becoming experts on living on miracles and faith!

A month ago I was pondering on what I wanted, what I thought we would need, in Tucson and I realized that what I wanted wasn't my dream come true but a perfect place for stewart. I thought of how I knew we needed a "real" big family house and I knew that was going to be expensive but if I found some house and told stewart we needed this house with the proof of "I know it"....he'd be kind and go along with it but that he could very possibly resent it a little that he was working crazy hours just to pay for my dream house situation....that's hard for men when their wives seem to be spending all their money on things they didn't really want or think are nessasary. I wanted us to find a home he'd fall in love with. So I started to pray that we'd find a home Stewart would love and be happy in, I realized more then a big nice home I wanted my husband to trust, and love me and respect my judgement. I wanted him to trust that I could be the rational one instead of it always being him. I wanted him to be happy no matter what that might mean for me personally, his dreams are a huge priority to me not just mine. Then fast forward to this week. We are in Tucson and in a long round about way we end up at this home that was built for Stewart and it's great for our family too....and the kitchen was built for me with a double oven! :-), it has the things I really need and then all the extras for my husband that I unintentionally gloss over at times. Anyways, we are having to negociate the price down and it will be more then we can afford for the first six months or a year but yesterday when we finally made the decision to get it the spirit was so confirming and strong. I had the impression to let this be Stewart's decison I told him I'd be happy and supportive of whatever we chose whether it was making a crammped house work or being very careful with money and living in his dream home. I had the impression that this house was a gift to Stewart from Heavenly Father and it was his choice if he'd except it or not. It reminded me of when I decided to marry Stewart, I logically thought that was too much, too quick, but deep down I felt that this was a huge gift and opportunity from Heavenly Father and it was up to me except it or reject it. So my Man is excepting his very sweet personal gift from Heavenly Father and I know our ward, neighbors, and school will be perfect. It all has this cool unique Arizona vibe but still maintains the funny little quirks our homes/neighborhoods seem to always have. It is a home to entertian in. Stewart said he can imagine ward parties at our house just like his dad had when he was Bishop in Fresno. Stew said its a lot like the "Fresno house", which he said was the perfect house to grow up in. When we saw the house I kept laughing to myself because my husband kept "sparkling" that's what I call it when someone is so happy their eyes twinkle and they just cant hold back their happieness from oozeing out. And then in our final resolution of deciding to go for the house we get hit with this killer stomach flu that is making us feel like we are about to die. I told Stewart its the Lords way of keeping us from going to the houses we were supposed to go see today! LOL Lots of ups and downs, going on faith, and falling in love with the Lord's vision of Tucson for us. I think Tucson may be home for good. Something about it is just such a good fit - its very new and different but it feels like it will be a perfect fit. Its sweet to remember how much the Lord loves us and knows us so well. To realize just how much his hand is present in our lives is touching and humbling. And now let's hope we can survive our stomach flu! Its a beast.