Well it has been such a trip! The highs have been really great, and the lows have been really low. Sometimes I wonder if anything will ever go smoothly for us. ;-) But anyways we found a house in a "only god could have made this happen" sort of way. And after knowing its the house for us we have been fighting for it on the faith that we will be able to afford it. Its so interesting and sometimes annoying that as responsible and prayerful as we are Heavenly Father seems set on us being house poor forever. Lol I guess we are becoming experts on living on miracles and faith!
A month ago I was pondering on what I wanted, what I thought we would need, in Tucson and I realized that what I wanted wasn't my dream come true but a perfect place for stewart. I thought of how I knew we needed a "real" big family house and I knew that was going to be expensive but if I found some house and told stewart we needed this house with the proof of "I know it"....he'd be kind and go along with it but that he could very possibly resent it a little that he was working crazy hours just to pay for my dream house situation....that's hard for men when their wives seem to be spending all their money on things they didn't really want or think are nessasary. I wanted us to find a home he'd fall in love with. So I started to pray that we'd find a home Stewart would love and be happy in, I realized more then a big nice home I wanted my husband to trust, and love me and respect my judgement. I wanted him to trust that I could be the rational one instead of it always being him. I wanted him to be happy no matter what that might mean for me personally, his dreams are a huge priority to me not just mine. Then fast forward to this week. We are in Tucson and in a long round about way we end up at this home that was built for Stewart and it's great for our family too....and the kitchen was built for me with a double oven! :-), it has the things I really need and then all the extras for my husband that I unintentionally gloss over at times. Anyways, we are having to negociate the price down and it will be more then we can afford for the first six months or a year but yesterday when we finally made the decision to get it the spirit was so confirming and strong. I had the impression to let this be Stewart's decison I told him I'd be happy and supportive of whatever we chose whether it was making a crammped house work or being very careful with money and living in his dream home. I had the impression that this house was a gift to Stewart from Heavenly Father and it was his choice if he'd except it or not. It reminded me of when I decided to marry Stewart, I logically thought that was too much, too quick, but deep down I felt that this was a huge gift and opportunity from Heavenly Father and it was up to me except it or reject it. So my Man is excepting his very sweet personal gift from Heavenly Father and I know our ward, neighbors, and school will be perfect. It all has this cool unique Arizona vibe but still maintains the funny little quirks our homes/neighborhoods seem to always have. It is a home to entertian in. Stewart said he can imagine ward parties at our house just like his dad had when he was Bishop in Fresno. Stew said its a lot like the "Fresno house", which he said was the perfect house to grow up in. When we saw the house I kept laughing to myself because my husband kept "sparkling" that's what I call it when someone is so happy their eyes twinkle and they just cant hold back their happieness from oozeing out. And then in our final resolution of deciding to go for the house we get hit with this killer stomach flu that is making us feel like we are about to die. I told Stewart its the Lords way of keeping us from going to the houses we were supposed to go see today! LOL Lots of ups and downs, going on faith, and falling in love with the Lord's vision of Tucson for us. I think Tucson may be home for good. Something about it is just such a good fit - its very new and different but it feels like it will be a perfect fit. Its sweet to remember how much the Lord loves us and knows us so well. To realize just how much his hand is present in our lives is touching and humbling. And now let's hope we can survive our stomach flu! Its a beast.
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