EaRThQuaKEs!!!!

We have been having some little earthquakes ROCK the Reno area lately. Lucky for us we live the furthest you can from the epicenter and still be considered part of the Reno area so honestly we have only felt one of them and even then it was more of hearing it; Rattling dishes and the sound of the earth sort of rumbling. I was surprised how much it scared me though. The last time I was in an earthquake it was the Southern California Wittier earthquake in the 90's. That one was a BIG one. It messed our house up quite a bit. It even put me in shock. I didn't talk for like two days, a total Zombie. I wouldn't let my mom out of sight! So this last week when this little one sounded in our house I immediately knew what it was - EaRThQUakE!

I had a dream the other day that there was a huge flood and we had to evacuate our house. We couldn't find anything. All our flashlights were dead, and we had no idea what we should grab - total chaos! So this week for our FHE we had a serious run through of our emergency plan and made a checklist of things we need to add to our 72 hour kits. They keep saying to be prepared for a big one, so hopefully if one hits we'll be prepared to handle it.

When we looked at a map of the recent earthquakes we realized that while we are having some earthquakes here in Reno it still isn't too rare of an event to have earthquakes in the West. :) Check it out! http://quake.wr.usgs.gov/recenteqs/latest.htm

Our Sweet Boy

My Son is a sweet boy. A hyperactive, jolly, mischievous boy, but ultimately he is very sweet. I think one of my favorite things about Bridger is how much he delights in life; in the little things, in everything. His joyfulness is so contagious and makes our little family full of so much energy and fun. The past couple nights he has been so sweet to his newest teddy bear - which really is a ginger bread man we call Gingy. At one of my events I attended with my business they had a free build your own stuff animal table. Bridger was able to stuff it himself and thus he feels a little more of a connection to this sort of odd stuffed cookie man. Anyways, he has been tucking his little Gingy into bed every night as we put him down and it is the cutest thing ever.

He talks in whispered jabbering as he lays Gingy on his pillow, gives Gingy some of his juice ("ere gooo. Ju"), layers each blanket on him with great care and the most gentility a two year old can render. Then he dose one of the greatest acts of love, he gives Gingy his pacifier. He tries to put it on his mouth but it seems to always fall and after a few tries Bridger is content on Gingy simply having it next to him. Bridger gets up from Gingy very carefully and then starts to make snoring sounds. When Stew and I talk too loud he informs us that we should be talking softer. "no, no, no. zzzzzzzzz"

This whole event makes Bridger beam and you can tell he is a proud little parent of Gingy. Last night it was so cute that I had to take some pictures. I wish I had video so you could hear his whispered jabbering. It is adorable. It something like, "nigh, nigh. sssssssh. juba hbaba. jubab bababa. sssssh. nigh nigh. zzzzzzzzzz" - translation: "nighty night, Shhhhh. jabbering I don't understand. shhhh. nighty night. snoring sounds."

He has started to ham it up for the camera. He is really trying to smile on cue. Funny boy!

Flirting with mom

Here is Daddy tucking Bridger in with all the necessities: Teddy bear, Gingy, his sippy cup, his wa wo (pacifier), and all three blankets.

After we put him down I could hear him talking to his stuffed friends for about a half an hour. I bet he was tucking them in all over again. :)

Who Rules the Roost?

Well, it's the kids. They've got us running around like a bunch of crazies. Having two toddlers is proving to be quite the joy and trial. They are turning into the cutest little friends and it warms our hearts like none other. However, it has also multiplied the trouble they seem to create. Yesterday the kids gave us a run for our money. I had to go to an event for my business and so Stew took care of the kids the bulk of the day and had everything under control. I came home to a clean beautiful house and two sparkling smiling kids. But I must have triggered something because as soon as Stew retreated to the bedroom to study some while I cooked dinner they let loose. Angeli was in the trash can, Bridger was in the cupboards, they both managed to get in my ceramic glaze and spread it all over the laundry room. After an emergency bath to get the lead glaze off them (super scary!) I thought we'd be in the clear, but no. Bridger tackled Angeli to steal the blue marker she was coloring with so I took him to timeout where I have to police him so he actually stays in it. When we emerged from timeout ready to say his sorry we found that Angeli had tried to eat the blue marker. She had actually pulled the ink thing out of the pen and tired to eat it. It was everywhere. So once again we had to take a bath. When I had to call Stew out of the bedroom to witness the latest disaster our adorable children created he could only say, "How do our kids survive with you everyday?" my response was, "How do I survive?" :) Honestly, I don't know how we are all still alive after all the trauma that goes down at our house but at least we always seem to get a good laugh out of it. :O) To live it up and turn our crazy day around a bit (yes, this really is living it up for us) we headed to the video store to rent a movie and McDonald's to get some ice cream. The kids thought we were wonderful and we thought they were wonderful too despite our crazy day.

At least it makes her eyes pop. :)

You can see the battle wound from their marker fight. :)

I wish I had one with her blue teeth, she looked so funny!

He is my favorite little man even if he tackles his sister for her markers.

If we were Celebrities...

This is totally for fun. Yes, I know it really just indicates that I need to get a life but still I had fun doing it. :) Here are the celebrities we matched with the most. Enjoy. :O)

BTW I also matched with Dolly Parton, Stew matched with Jamie Lynn Spears, and Angeli matched with a ton of guys. Who knew?!?

MyHeritage: Celebrity Morph - Genealogies - Free family history

MyHeritage: Family trees - Genealogy - Celebrities

MyHeritage: Celebrity Morph - Old photos - Free family tree

MyHeritage: Celebrity Morph - Family tree templates - Free genealogy

MyHeritage: Family trees - Genealogy - Celebrities

Home Sweet Home

I have been thinking a lot about why Stewart and I felt like we should buy our home. With the current real estate market the way it is and our need to sell our home in three years it can be a bit scary at times to "own" it. We know that everything will be okay but we also realize that we wont be selling at a profit and walking away with a bunch of cash to help set us up during residency like we had hoped. I have determined that there must be a different reason why we felt we needed to buy and why every other house fell through except this one. I find myself often searching for a grandiose reason. The other day as I was running (my reflective time) I realized that there are probably a mixture of reasons for our need to buy this home. In my pondering I came up with these few reasons:

Missionary Work

Stewart and I are in a awesome situation to help all the inactive people in our neighborhood and that has really been great to be doing missionary work. I think the most exciting part of this has been our neighbors across the street, Larry and Emily. They are not members but I think they will be. They are old enough to be our parents and they have been such a help to us since we moved here. The day we moved in they brought us a ton of food and things (even their own microwave) to help us out until we could get to the store and get our refrigerator and pans unloaded from the trailer. Emily has MS and she is really sick. She can hardly walk with a walker so the kids and I try to visit her a lot and bring her the mail everyday. Larry is always trying to talk religion, politics, science, ect. with Stew. We have had then over for dinner and invited them to church and things and I am really hopeful that they will join the church. Just to be their friends and apart of their lives has been a huge blessing. We feel so grateful to have their help and hope we can in turn help them out too by sharing our testimonies and friendship.

My Business

I need to be at home with my kids, but UNR is so tight with their loans that I need to make money... that leaves a home business. It would be impossible to run my business from an apartment thus we had to buy.

Kids

We could not live in a small apartment for very long simply because of our kids. It would have been really hard to cram our kids into a tiny apartment for a long amount of time before we'd be dying for more room for them to run, play, explore and make all the noise they want. Renting a house would have cost us almost as much as paying a mortgage so buying is smart in that regard too.

Our Ward

Stewart and I felt at home so quickly in our ward. I have never experienced anything like it before. I never once felt uncomfortable there. Everyone is open, down to earth, and so so kind. Yeah, they are human but honestly I adore all of their humanity. We feel like we have support and friends here when we need it...our family away from family.

Growth

Stewart and I needed to grow up some more. I think the Lord wanted to test us and give us an opportunity to stretch our faith. We have done this completely on faith and as of yet it still seems a little backwards but we know that, like always, after the trial of our faith great blessings come about.

It Makes Us Happy

When we realized we were moving to Reno the first thing I did was see how many Walmarts there were and if their was a river with a running trail. :O) Even more then I depended on Walmart I depended and loved the Provo River. I would run along it almost everyday. It was my sanity, my therapy. I felt so blessed to have it so close by. It was beautiful, calming and just perfect. I thought I would lose that when we moved. But I didn't! We live right next to the Truckee river! I have another river! That might seem so weird to some but to me this has proven to be a huge testament to the Lord's tender mercy in caring about the little things I care about. I run by it almost everyday and I love it. In connection with that I love our quirky little community. Everyone is so nice and friendly. It's pretty in it's very humble way. There is a little park, a its own tiny tiny school, a pool, and lots for the kids and I to explore. Everyday on our run we see ducks, geese, trains, lots of friendly neighbors, wild horses, and we go down this little farm road and get to see cows and more horses. I feel like they have so much to enjoy so close by. The first week we were here I remember feeling like our home in its funny little neighborhood was going to be our sanctuary from the craziness of Med School and having to live in this complicated world. It has become exactly that.

Basically our home is humble, there are things I wish I could change about it everyday, money is tight, its value has dropped tons in the months since we bought it, our neighborhood isn't much more then an upper class trailer park but it is home. It makes us happy, we always feel safe and we are so grateful for it. I probably would have never thought this would be our life, that hidden in this odd corner of Sparks we would find our sanctuary but I guess Heavenly Father knows better then I. :O) We truly love our home sweet home.

Mrs. Cranky Pants!!!

Angeli has been such a whinny dramatic little girl lately. We finally realized yesterday why. She is teething. She is getting four new teeth! Two of them are molars. Poor baby, and Honestly poor me too! :O) She will soon have 12 teeth. She seems to always get them in fours. I better go Bridger is spreading lotion all over our glass doors! You can be happy you aren't to me! :O)

Here is one of her little tantrums. I took the remote away to remove the batteries before she put them in her mouth. What a mean mom!!!

Random Things I Want to Share

Stew and I rented this and really liked it. It is a feel good renter. Steve Carell dose such a good job in it. He proves he can do almost any role. I am just waiting for his action movie to come out. :O)
I am not a huge reader and I probably never will be because I am super picky about what I read. I like my Father- in-law's point of view, "Life is too short for good books, we only have time for the really great ones." - okay so I didn't say it as eloquently as he says it but you get the gist. Anyways, I read this book recently and it has had a profound effect on me. I highly recommend it. Its a super quick read. It is The Message by Lance Richardson . Its a near death experience. You can get it at Desert book if you are interested. It really fit in with some of the experiences I have had in my life and made death so much more of a happy thing for me. It focuses on what messages he was to bring back; how we can have more of a Zion society. Basically it is up lifting.


My kids favorite thing has been jumping. They pile up all our bean bags and pillows and jump off our couch into them. Bridger is getting some pretty good air these days. I came out of my bedroom this morning and this is what I found.

My business has actually gotten some business this week and that has been huge for us. I feel so blessed. On Friday I have another appointment at a day care which I think will be super crazy and busy. We are feeling really blessed.The Kids both learned how to say banana this week. It is really cute. To celebrate their achievement we made chocolate covered bananas for our FHE treat. The kids thought it was the coolest thing ever. It sure made a mess though!

Bridger has made so many messes this week I am going a bit crazy. Here is a short list of his biggest ones:
- spreading tooth past all over the house twice!!!
- dumping my powder all over himself and the couch
- pouring out three bottles of spices all over the kitchen
- pouring out a box of cereal all over the kitchen
- coloring all over my kitchen cabinets
- coloring on my bedroom walls
I could go on but I wont. I think you get the point, he is a busy boy! :O)

no , no, no,

Angeli can say "No". She mastered this new skill today. It is pretty darn cute as far as "no's go. She is my little echo. Every time I say "no" to her or to Bridger I then hear this soft little "no nnnnnno no" from her. She is always quite proud of herself. She gets what it means for sure because every time Bridger takes her toy she says it with all her heart, "NO!". Today Bridger and her have gotten in a couple "no" contests. They tried to out "No" each other. Bridger won in the end because, after all, he has had more practice. But I must concede that "No" is going to be the most popular word in our house from now on. I hope they can both start learning how to say "yes" at least too! :O) Either way I think they are pretty cute!

Body Love!

"In parenting, I have lost my mind but found my soul."

I found that on a blog and loved it. It made me laugh and also got me reflecting on how I have lost my mind since having kids and how I have found my soul as well. I could ramble on about how my mind is pretty much shot but I would rather talk about how I think part of my soul was found. Yes, this is another one of my long rambling escipades ! :O) If you have had enough of my blogging therapy feel free to skip this post. :O)

I think the statement could also be posed as

"In motherhood I have lost my body but found I could love it."

This is how Bridger helped me find my soul and some major body love. I had major body issues since I was a little little girl. That has been my arena of serious "lostness". I can show you pictures taken of me pre-kindergarten and reminisce on how when that picture was taken I was sucking in my tummy and worrying about how fat and ugly I was. Isn't that the most depressing thing ever?!? You can imagine that I didn't have much of a chance of a good body image when puberty hit in fifth grade. I pretty much loathed my body. I did the whole anorexia, bulimia, and obsessive exercise thing through most of middle school and high school. My Junior year I had enough and I let it go as much as I could. Life continued, I got married and felt much much better. However, at times I still felt a bit of disgust for my body. Then one day in a moment of pure shock I found out I was pregnant. Being pregnant was great and so happy but also odd. It was like going through puberty all over again. I felt so out of control of my body and it got weirder and weirder month by month. Deep down I knew it would be worth it but at times that "knowledge" was more of a hope then a fact. I saw countless women around me who hated their bodies even more after pregnancy left it "ravages" (very dramatic I know). :-) I never wanted to hate my body like I once had. In the end it was a love hate relationship. I loved that I was growing a baby and feeling the awesomeness of it all but in all honesty when you feel 100 years old and 500 lbs. it's a little un-awesome.

But that all changed in one moment. When I heard my son cry for the first time and my husband kissed my forehead with tears streaming down his face all the years of body hate vanished. I simply fell in love with my body. All of my sham and incsecerities melted away. I sat there basically naked as naked can be beaming with joy and amazement that I had made my little baby boy and that I had brought him into this world. I look back at the pictures taken then and I don't think I have ever looked worse in my life :O) but honestly I have never felt more beautiful. I knew then that I had a truly divine nature. I believd for the first time that I was endlessly wonderful, capable, loved, and beautiful. I was healed. YAY! I loved my outside as much as I loved my inside. I found my body and soul when I found my Bridger. Go Bridge Man! :O)

Today with another baby added to the mix and my body gaining lovely varicose veins, stretch marks, cellulite, bad knees, an aching back, and 15 pounds in the past six months :o) the profoundness of my body loving moment can be dimmed in my memory when I let it. But underneath it all I feel so much appreciation and love for my body. I thought I couldn't love my body until I got it exactly how I wanted it-well, if that were true I'd would still be waiting for the resurrection! I was wrong all along. I can love my very un-perfect body now because my body gave my children their bodies! I will never get over that. All women are so wonderful that they are built to do that! I hope I will never enter that dark place of body hate again. My body is sacred, beautiful and a profound blessing.

With all that being said, mommies and all women out there, please please remember how beautiful, sacred, and perfect you are even without being.... well...perfect! I hope we can all agree that motherhood hasn't just made us all lose our minds and bodies but, more importantly it helped us find some soul and body love! :O)

She Walks and Talks and even gives Kisses!

My little girl is walking! This month has been huge for her. She is taking off and learning so many new things. The past three days she has been trying to walk everywhere. It is so fun to see her waddle into the room, it always surprises me. Her toddling reminds me of a baby Frankenstein with her arms extended out and swaying side to side, so cute. She works so hard at walking and is always so proud of herself when she gets to her target. Bridger seems to be excited about her new ability too. They have been getting along even better since she has been able to keep up with him more. They take turns pushing each other in Angi's stroller or on Bridge man's trike and they'll go to their "secret" hangout (living room corner behind the palm tree...shh don't tell) and just sit there together jabbering back and forth. It's my favorite thing to see them having fun together all on their own. She is catching up to him so quickly it is crazy. I am beginning to feel like I have twins. She has added bubble, shoe, juice, hot hot, teeth, and brush teeth to her vocabulary this past week. Her new obsessions are brushing her teeth, giving everything kisses, and her newly acquired skill of knocking on doors. Golly, our kids are our favorite things ever! ;O)

Here is the video proof of Angeli's new talents. I am sorry it is long and that it is so ShAkY! I guess trying to record and interact with my kids at the same time is a bit hard for me! Sorry if it makes you sick!

Happy Birthday Grandma!

Today (now yesterday) my Grandma Angeli turned 91!!!!! If you met her you would have no idea she was any where close to 91. She is so healthy and sharp. I think she is more on top of things then I am! :O) She is the only grandmother I knew as a child and she cared and loved me since I was a baby. She is such a tremendous example of serving the Lord and living the Gospel through all of life's challenges. Her example alone has taught me so much about life. By far the greatest gift she has given me is my very own mommy and to honor her and my mother I even named my daughter after her -- yep, they are that amazing!! Since moving here she has been such a life saver for us and made many miracles possible for us. I can never thank her enough for being there for me. Grandma, I just want you to know that you are so loved and cherished. Grandma, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Here is a little Slide Show for you!

Hello Holland

I wasn't sure if I would blog about this but then I started to listen to "Say" by John Mayer (first song playing on my blog) and started to think that perhaps my sharing this might help someone else out there. So here is a little window into some of the trials that have been weighing heavily on my heart.This says what I want to say:

WELCOME TO HOLLAND

byEmily Perl Kingsley

"I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland."

Today the stewardess welcomed Stewart and I to Holland.

Bridger had an evaluation with Nevada's Early Childhood Intervention Services and he has "qualified". We are still in the process of getting an actual diagnosis but they determined that he has areas that he is certainly not developing correctly. They pinpointed his communication skills and social interpersonal skills as his areas where he is very behind. We have been preparing for this day for what seems like months and so this was not a big shock. However, as a parent the worst thing to hear is that something is wrong with your child, so yes, this is not easy nor will it ever be without struggle. Despite the heartache, what we feel, above any other feeling is great peace. Yesterday we were able to fast and go to the temple. We knew then, as we do today, that everything will be okay. We know without any hesitation that we love our Bridger and he is one of the greatest miracles, blessings, and joys we have ever been given. He is delightful, expressive, fun, and a very loving little man who loves life and makes ours better everyday. We are beginning to see with greater scope that this "Reno" chapter of our lives has very little pretense of being easy on us, but today we have total peace....we love our Holland whatever that means.