The baby that is inside me is getting bigger. I have been feeling the baby move for sometime though it has been really gradual and I sort of second guessed myself every time but two nights ago I was laying in bed and felt this little kick in the same spot over and over again. I had Stewart put his hand on my belly to see if he could feel it too. He could. Oh, I was so happy! Feeling a kicking baby is one of my all time favorites especially the first time daddy can feel it too.
I've missed doctor appointments this pregnancy with being out of town a lot and so I sort of get worried that I have miscarried and just haven't realized it yet so to feel he/she move is such a comforting thing.
Anyways, yay! There really is a real live baby inside me that is growing and everything! I won't get to see an ultrasound of our fourth Rasmussen creation until October but I am happy to feel that little sweet one move inside me. :O)
We haven't really talked names much because we have been so busy and when I am pregnant it takes all my concentration to think about baby names but here are some names that we are thinking about. What do you think?
Boy Names:
Emmett Everett Graham Griffin Theodore Tye William Cedric Christian Ezra
I have only one more day until we drive back to Reno. That is if we get our car in working condition. It has gone so fast this here trip we are on. It has been good but it wasn't what I expected. However, I am a firm believer in things happening for a reason. So I am not really mourning that my dreams didn't come to pass but rather trying to find a why. My kids have had a great time at my brother's, which is where we have been almost the entire time since we left Nevada for Utah. Being with his family has been a really good experience. They have been soooooo good to us and I have felt the Lord's hand in our lives as we have been here.
I hope when I get home it doesn't feel too fall-ish because I love the changing of the seasons and I would be sad if I have missed any of it. I can feel Fall creeping in here in Utah. It makes me nostalgic for the beautiful falls we spent in Utah while we were in school at the Y. hmmmm.
I am sad Stewart will be leaving almost as soon as he gets home. I cant tell you how happy it will be when he graduates - simply knowing he'll not have to go live far away for months will be reward enough!
Stewart has loved his rotation at the University of Utah. We have no idea if they will really consider him come this winter but we hope they do because he loved their program and the people are all super fun and nice.
Well, I better go. Stewart is trying to study and the kids are being crazy. Utah, I will miss you. Maybe we'll call you home in two years?
For weeks I have been writing in my head the post I should have written you for your passing of 18 months and today I am actually making it happen! ( Even though you are now 20 months old) One of your many nicknames is "my joy baby". I know that is a really odd nickname but it is probably the one that makes the most sense. You have brought our little family nothing but joy since the moment you joined in on our crazy lives. I cant believe how fast the months have gone. You are a little boy now and we are all loving every moment of your growing up. You are in such a fun stage! The kids are always pointing out to me your new achievements and love that you are old enough to play with them.
You are getting better and better at expressing yourself and love repeating words. I can say the silliest words I know and you do your very best to say them back to me and it is very cute. The way you say "Bridger" is one of my favorites, you say it so sweetly. You are putting your own little phrases together and I laugh every time you come up to me and grab my hand and in your most serious expressions say "come now mama.". I love the way you do your best to keep up with your big brother and sister . You are so patient with them and adore your sister who treats you more like her son then anything else.
Your smile shows all over your face, your eyes sparkle and your dimples are just the cutest finishing touches. I can tell you love seeing others smiling back at you and delight in giggly moments with your family members. You are a good boy and try very hard to do things how they should be done. When you are told to go to timeout you always go and sit in your little corner all by yourself and come out ready to say sorry and give hugs and kisses. After you have done the whole drill you are always so proud of yourself and come to mom for a big hug and kiss as a reward. At nursery you like to stay right by Sis. Scott's side until you have warmed up to the new setting without mom. She gives you lots of hugs and cuddles and you always come back to me smelling of her sweet perfume. She is like a third grandmother to you and you love her very much. Strangers usually make you feel shy and when you are shy you want nothing more then to have your mama hold you. You come up to me and quietly say, "Hold you. Hold you. pease." It makes me smile every time. Angeli likes to take you by the hand and help you warm up to new places. She is very sweet to you.
You love to cuddle, read stories, jump, throw rocks, wrestle, talk, take baths, color, to tell the temperature of things, give big giant hugs, make up silly games, eat almost anything but especially suckers, talking on the phone, to start the dish washer at all hours of the day, load the laundry machine, water the garden, play with blocks, push cars around, and demonstrate to the whole family that you staunchly believe that mother loves you the most.
You have no idea that there is a baby coming and I think you will freak out when you are not the littlest baby anymore. Good thing we have over five months to get you ready.
You have a special place in our family and we love you very much. Thanks for being part of the gang. We wouldn't be as happy without you!
Ok I have been a downer lately but I feel a big turn around coming and it feels good! I hit fifteen weeks and I suddenly feel 70% better! WOOOHOOO! But that is just a side note.
Ok so everyone knows we are poor right? Well, it has made buying my children books almost impossible. We hit up the library but I hate going there and thus my books are almost always late and I just hate the entire experience of libraries with three crazy children in tow. So since I spend $10 a month on late fees I stopped going and tried different options for books. I invested in the deals with scholastic books, but honestly they are junk. They are poor poor quality. So I got a Boarders book membership but the books we get on sale are not that great either. They are activity books not sit and read before bedtime stuff.
So I finally made it over toGrass Roots Book Store in down town Reno. It is a used book, movie, game store and I LOVE it! They are good quality books for super cheap. I bought almost exclusively hard cover books, mostly new too, and got 16 books for under $35.00. I am thrilled and one was pricey ($5.00) but I bought it for Stew . It is this big human body book for kids that has super cool transparencies and posters and stuff so he can teach the kids all about the human body and be in heaven at story time.
If you live in Reno you need to go there! It is just off of Kietzke on E Grove. I think we'll go every month to buy $10 of books from there instead of heading to the library and then paying late fees. JOY!
Every Summer we try to at least spend a day in Tahoe. We had not gotten to it yet and with Stewart leaving until October we had to get it in. We decided to go camping. It was so much fun! Well, besides my throwing up a ton, it was fun. I forgot my camera when we went swimming at the lake but other then that I got some pretty pictures to remember a really fabulous family trip. I am learning more and more on how to pack and plan for camping: its time to invest in sleeping bags, a better lantern, and to bring some sort of sleeping aid! :O)
As a side note I conquered my bear fears! There were several bears in our campsite and I was shaking I was so scared but after talking to rangers looking for one bear they hadn't found yet I pulled myself together and had a great time. Yay for me!
Setting up Camp! The kids were so cute.
We went on a hike to Eagle Lake. It was really fun and so pretty.
Breakfast Time!
Our last little hike was really short but had great views.
Sorry my blog is so boring. I guess summer is a slow blogging time and lets face it, blogging is losing lots of its hype. But for me, I guess it is here to stay so I can communicate to my wide spread family/friends and because it is therapeutic for me. So here is a simple update that doesn't promise much of anything.
Today was emotional. I was released from my calling in the primary presidency and said goodbye to my husband for two weeks till I get to meet him at his sister's wedding. It would have all been fine but it happened all at once and when I was sleep deprived and pregnant. I am proud of myself though. I did not have a break down. I almost did like four times during sacrament when Benjamin fell apart after his dad kissed him goodbye and left us. I just felt so sad all the sudden. But, like my mom calls it, I "mothered up" and kept us all together and did not make a scene. Normally I do not smother my feelings but this pregnancy I have realized that once I start crying I CRY and it is always a scene. :)
Its all fine now. We came home after church and all took a nap. However, I feel like the next two moths will be all about endurance while the hubby and daddy is away. I will work on perfecting the art of keeping going even when you are tired and feeling sick to try and make life happen in a pleasant way. I assure you that is more then a run-on sentence, it is in fact an art.
If I can finally get over my morning sickness it could even turn out to be a really fun time. We'll see. But for now I miss my husband who really has been my hero lately and I cant wait until we are all together again. Till then I will work on being artistic. ;)
I hope all of you are having a fabulous summer! I send my love to anyone who still reads my blog, you are a kindred spirit indeed! :)
My Father- in-law shared this quote with Stewart and I. Elder Russell M. Nelson said:
"As stake president I was questioned by many young people about their own educational pursuits. Some asked me how long it took to become a doctor of medicine. ‘The general pattern would be four years at a university, followed by four years in medical school,’ I replied. ‘And if you choose to become a specialist, that could take another five years or more, depending upon your desire.’
“That occasionally evoked a reaction: ‘That adds up to thirteen years-and maybe more? That’s too long for me!’
“‘It all depends,’ I would respond. ‘Preparation for your career is not too long if you know what you want to do with your life. How old will you be thirteen years from now if you don’t pursue your education? Just as old, whether or not you become what you want to be!’
“So my counsel then-and now-is to continue your education wherever you are, whatever your interest and opportunity, however you determine you can best serve your family and society.”
I thought that was pretty great. Today I needed to reread it. Very often people ask us about the process of becoming a doctor. Lately I have hated talking about it. Often it goes like this, "Wow, Stewart is in his last year of medical school! He will be a doctor soon!" - they are so happy for us and talk and talk about how we'll soon have lots of money and that's when I have to break it to them. That nothing could be further from the truth. They sort of stare at me with huge eyes and I know they are secretly thinking, 'No wonder I never wanted to be a doctor, its craziness!' Becoming a doctor is not a cake walk by any means.
When I headed to BYU there were a few things I was sure on. These were two: I wasn't getting married young and I was not going to marry a boy who wanted to be a doctor. HA! ;) But it has been great. I think I really was cut out for this life. I love my life. I am very grateful for all of it. Even the ugly hard things, I wouldn't wish them away.
But here we sit starting fourth year feeling so close to the end while simultaneously feeling overwhelmed by the prospect of starting residency. We have completed seven years of Stewart's training and now realize we have seven more to go. I hardly feel like celebrating anything. Instead I feel really tired. Half way through 14 isn't that fabulous of a feeling especially when you are slightly depressed due to your funky pregnancy hormones. It just feels like a VERY VERY long road with many tests along the way.
Tomorrow Stewart takes a HUGE test figuratively and literally. It takes nine hours to complete and it will play a role in where we go to residency. I hope it goes well. Pray for him please. :)
But for Today I am going to try and embrace the fact that in seven years I will be 32 years old no matter what and I'd rather be 32 married to a real doctor then not be. And now that I think about it, 32 is still young. So there! ;)
We had a great time visiting family. It was so refreshing to be with so many loved ones. But now we are home again. It has been awhile. I think we were gone for like two weeks. Anyways, I walked in the door and like always I immediately thought my house looks rather bare after being in much more filled and decorated homes and then everything started to make me feel sick. I was throwing up in an hour or two just because being here makes me feel sick. It has a lot to do with the smells here. I opened the window this morning to get fresh air and the smell of the air here even makes me feel ill. Thus I am wanting to leave asap! Hows that?!?!?! The kids are happy though. When we arrived home yesterday the kids went and hugged every stuffed animal they had to leave behind and messed up the house in rapid speed. They are so talented! ;) Now I have just enough time to get our affairs in order to leave again. First on the list is my doctor appointment. I am anxious to hear a tiny rapid heart beat. At these early stages it can feel so surreal that there really is a baby in there. Plus, I worry that everything is going ok.
I have a thing with winks. They warm my heart. I just love them. So my hubby made me this "wink" the other day just to say he loves me. I think it is one of my favorite gifts I have ever received. Thanks Babe.
This was another holiday completely saved from becoming a pregnancy casualty. We were invited to two BBQ's and to watch fireworks with my friends who are local know-it-alls. We had a great holiday thanks to all of our friends. Thanks you guys!
My favorite thing was hearing the kids glee as they watched the fire works. They loved it.
I tried to teach the kids a little about our country and why it is the best around. We told them the story of the revolutionary war and everything and they kept asking us to "tell that story again!". It was cute. Plus they had fun screaming "Happy Birthday America!" and expressing how the fireworks were like giant candles for our country. Once again cuteness.
Here are the pics I took that aren't all that great. :O)
Benjie's first sparkler - illegal in NV mind you. :)
So I have been living in a heavy fog lately simply because my mind isn't working all the great these days. Plus when I'm sick I tend to just deal with the present, taking it a day at a time. I realized that I have got to get my act together because my life is about to take off going really fast and if I am not ready it will be a disaster. So I know this is stimulating reading for you all but I have got to write this down where I can find it in a day or two! :O)
In four days I have to have our affairs in order for us to leave town for two weeks to which we will then return for one week only to have to hurry and buy a car and then leave for an entire month. AHHHHHH! Ok, deep breath. I am thinking I may just send the hubby off for a month, I am not sure, we'll see if we can get a van or not. If we have one car I will be definitely coming with him. August is the worst month to be gone for us....its when we moved here so everything that needs to be renewed comes in the mail and when we are gone it is a nightmare! Business license, insurances, .... so I hope I can stick around for an extra week to make sure all our bills get paid on time and then meet up with Stew. We'll see.
Ok so here is the to-do list for the next FOUR days:
CHECK SORT OF - call insurance and switch my providers - keep getting busy signal :( CHECK SORT OF - deep clean the house - I clean one room only to have it destroyed in a day. These kids! :) CHECK - clean out Stew's car and wash it - its been over a year! :( CHECK - LAUNDRY CHECK - go to the temple CHECK - figure out how much we can pack in our tiny car, I think we'll be wearing the same clothes everyday! I better make sure to pack laundry detergent. CHECK - buy snacks for the long drives CHECK - get gas in the car - get my labs done CHECK - go to bank CHECK - drop movie off at Library - get fabric for my mom to sew me something to wear to the wedding this August, oh my stupid veins make it such a trail to find clothes that work! - get someone to water plants and pick up our mail CHECK - Get pictures scrapbooked and get ready for Gma's CHECK - do our finances for July - clean back yard and take pics for blog CHECK- cut the boy's hair - take return to Michale's CHECK - finish the book of Mormon I have like 10 more pages! WOO hOO! CHECK - Start the D&C CHECK - go to post office to send package to sister CHECK - Finish processing my orders- Ahhhhh! I am so behind on these! - Make sure the kids get to play with some friends before they leave for the summer CHECK - Do some more car searching - hate this.
Now will this all get done? Absolutely not. But maybe I can get some of it done and that would be nice. Oh, I will be happy to feel like me again but for now we'll just enjoy the oddness of now and the adventure of traveling all over in a tiny car and no cash. We'll have to pretend we're a super hip hippie family or something! :)
My sweet friend kindly offered to take some pics of our little family for free! So we took her up on her offer. We did them in some of our favorite places by our house. They were taken in the ultra ugly early stages of being pregnant so I look slightly terrible but what are you going to do? My talented friend tried and we tried but between the wind and the wiggly kids we didn't get a really great family picture, but with three littles four and under the odds were against us! Sometimes I wonder why we even try to take them at all! :O) Anyways, here are some of the great pictures we have thanks to my really nice friend. Thanks Jessica, it means so much to me that you did this for us!
Hi, I'm Emily. My life is made up of my totally handsome hubby who is busy surviving residency, Me playing with my four crazy cute kids everyday along with our two puppies. We strive to dedicate our lives to the Lord. We are happy. We are busy. We are a little out of our minds. We love the Gospel of Jesus Christ of latter-day Saints. We are bent on taking the steep and sometimes unpopular road less traveled. We adore our extended family like crazy. We are dreamers that believe in working hard for them. We are poor in possessions but rich in love. Our family is a balancing act of restless and peaceful, practical and emotional, playful and bashful, passionate and light hearted. We are excited for our future. AND I am narrating it all as it unfolds. So read on if you like wordy writers who have gramar issues. ;)
