So I think due to some major fasting she was able to make tons of progress. Yay! I hope she can maintain it! This might not mean anything to anyone but Sunday morning she was at 500 cc/m and currently she is at 100 cc/m of oxygen. That is huge! Plus she is maintaining really good saturation. I think she has been averaging around 98% oxygen and her respiration rate is way more consistent and while still high not as high as it was. Her doctor is still very cautious. After two dips after thinking we were on the up he is careful to not let us think we are out of the clear just yet. This morning he told me that I needed to plan on being her longer then the two week general max for babies with RSV. He said that it seems as though she is doing all the things you'd expect with RSV however it is just taking longer then normal to have them play out. So if she stays true to that pattern then we will be here longer then normal. That is a big disappointment. I am ok with it just disappointed and trying to be positive. Hope for the best but plan for the worst is the way to go in situations like this. So I guess we are cautiously optimistic today....but she looks really good. Really happy. Really healthy. Really cute. :) Yesterday she went down hill again. Oh, it is so hard. Almost all the progress she made is gone. Her lungs are getting worse, her oxygen is going up, and her breaths per minute are sky rocketing. She is border line for pneumonia again. If she gets pneumonia or has to be transferred to the ICU I am not sure how I will cope with that. I am praying that we only have one more week in the hospital. The nurses keep telling me that two weeks is usually the max the newborns have to be hospitalized with RSV so I am hopeful. But if she gets worse it will be worse...I am sure ICU babies have longer stays.
Not to mention that hospital life is getting to me. I am starting to hate the food. I am getting sick of the randomness of which nurse I have in the day and who I have at night and how they each seem to have their own way of doing things which may or may not bug the heck out of me.
Well, she is waking up and I am REALLY needing to feed her. That is the one thing she has been consistent on. She is eating well and gaining weight. For that I am very grateful.
Today Genevieve is two weeks old it makes me sad that she's only two weeks old and having to deal with so much. Poor little thing. But I am feeling really grateful that our stay in the hospital has gotten boring. The past couple days were filled with worry and stress but now it seems she is on the up swing and is getting stronger instead of worse. So instead of staring at her monitors and checking if she is blue or pink I am able to blog, watch TV and let the hours pass by without much event. The doctor rounded tonight and he said she has at least three more days on account of her need to be on IV antibiotics. I think it will be more then that as we have to slowly reduce her oxygen and get her off of it before we can go home and she is still on super high levels of oxygen. So today is day number five in the hospital and we will have at least an eight day stay. I wish things were different but really I feel very blessed with how things have worked out for us in this stressful time.
This is Stewart writing a post from Sacramento. I am away on my last interview for residency. Tonight Emily is sleeping at the hospital with our new Baby Genevieve, who was admitted for respiratory distress due to RSV. She will probably be there several days but so far things look like they should be ok.
Our family has been suffering with a cold for the past few days. We thought everyone looked stable when I left for my drive to Sacramento on Saturday where I would be staying with my uncle Shaun and aunt Sue. When I looked at the weather it was predicted there would be severe snow storms on Sunday. I figured I needed to get over Donner Pass before the snow fell so I wouldn't miss my interview.
This morning Emily called me and said she had some concerns about Genevieve's breathing. After hearing the symptoms I became very worried and told her she should take her to the hospital. I felt very torn. Should I try to drive home through the snow storm in my 2 wheel drive Honda and miss my interview at one of my top programs or abandon my family in their time of need.
Upon hearing our situation, Shaun and Sue grabbed their coats, extra blankets and a few supplies and jumped in their 4 wheel drive truck saying that they would brave the storm to be with my family so I wouldn't miss the interview. I have an amazing family.
Emily took Genevieve in and she tested positive for RSV and they were worried enough that they admitted her. It has been torture to be away from my kids today, but knowing that they are being watched over by family makes it bearable. Hopefully my interview tomorrow goes well and as soon as it is done I will make the drive to relieve my aunt and uncle and be where I need to be. 
Genevieve is one week old today and so very sweet. As of one week she loves to nurse and be held. She is spitting up less and less which makes her mother very happy. She is getting a cold and cough which does not make her mother very happy. Poor thing. She gets the hiccups all the time. After she eats and is in a drunken sleep she smiles so happily. She has a beautiful smile. I think it will be one of her winning features. I love holding her and am completely spoiling her and myself by holding her most of the day. She is jaundice and so she is sporting a very fashionable tan. :) She is starting to sleep more through the night. I've been able to get five hour stretches in the past few nights which is wonderful. I cant believe it has only been a week. Life has changed so much in so little time. Life is so blessed.
I wanted to document Genevieve's birth before I forget too much more. I've gotten so I forget more and more quickly with each child I have so I wanted to get it down faster this time. :) Here goes my birth story.
The weeks leading up to her birth were not easy ones for me. I was in a lot of discomfort and was anxious to give birth. I really thought she'd be coming rather early so each day that ticked by seemed so very long. I knew rationally that I was being a nut but I couldn't seem to help myself. I would go to bed often crying because I was so sad I hadn't had her that day. At my 38th week appointment my doctor agreed to induce me on the 20th since it was my fourth child with no complications before. Plus Stewart's mother was flying in that day and I really wanted to be sure that she wasn't born on Angeli's birthday. So after I received the doctor's okay I was excited to know there was an end in sight.
The morning of her induction I received a call from the hospital telling me that there was a scheduling problem and that I needed to call back later to see if I could come in. I was bummed. After calling three more times to see if there was room for me I got the head nurse's approval to come in and we excitedly headed to hospital. It actually worked out perfectly because we were all able to pick up Stewart's mother from the airport and get the kids settled in at home with her and then go to the hospital.
After the initial signing in and stuff I was finally hooked up to pitocin by 12:00 pm. I hoped I wouldn't go longer then my other kid's noon start time inductions of about 8pm births. I asked my nurse when I would be able to get an epidural she told I could when my contractions were 2 to 3 minutes apart. That is when I remembered that epidural or not labor was a painful process.
I was only dilated to a one and was 60% effaced when my doctor came to check in with me. She broke my water, though it didn't do much to speed things up. The hours ticked by as my pain grew and my contractions got closer and closer together. Finally at 6:00 pm my contractions were extremely painful and 2 to 3 minutes apart. I was so relieved I could finally ask for my epidural. In the thirty minutes it took to get my epidural my contractions began to increase in pain and began to cluster. I would have two or three contractions back to back and then have a two or three minute break. It was a long thirty minutes! :O)
After it started to work I was able to relax and get a little more rest. I was feeling really exhausted. I felt rather discouraged that I was only four centimeters dilated and 80% effaced. When the nurse told me she'd be back at 8pm to check on me I hoped it wouldn't really be that long. My epidural set in more and I realized it was really weird, not like any I had before. There was a large spot on the right side of my abdomen that never went numb and it felt really rather spotty. Some spots were super numb and other spots not very numb at all. It was fine at first but as my labor went on it bothered me more and more. Around 7:00 I started to feel ill. I was so light headed and my head throbbed. I began to get really agitated and basically grumpy. The pain from my spot that didn't go numb got very painful and I started to have to breath through the pain that was breaking through. I felt so weird. I didn't know what was going on. I didn't feel any pressure but I paged my nurse and she assured me that my blood pressure was fine. She said she'd get me some Tylenol for my head ache. But by the time she returned I was getting a bit panicky. She ask how I was doing as I was trying not to cry and breathing through my contractions in that one spot. When I replied that I felt really really weird and really grumpy she laughed at my reply and suggested that she check me. It took her about half a second to say, "Her head is right there we better hurry." and that was it. I was so relieved to realized that I felt so weird because I was laying there with a baby pushing herself out of me as I was completely unaware and not that I was about to pass out or have a seizure or something scary. At last I was going to have my baby. I waited for some adrenalin to kick in but I was tired and calm. I was a bit nervous that I would not have enough energy to push.
It was 7:50 when she checked me and at 8:09 little Genevieve was born. It went fast. The nurses rushed in the room and set things up while the on call doctor arrived. Stewart was going to deliver the baby but in the end I asked him to stay by my side. I felt like I needed him next to me, he was sweet about it. It was strange though because although it went very quickly I felt very calm and not rushed at all. In the end I was very grateful I was not completely numb and that I had a big spot that had full feeling because without any sense of pressure or urge to push I would have been completely unaware of when to push or have anything to push through. I could understand why those who have had bad or odd epidurals don't want to have them again - it was really a weird thing to have a bad epidural. I guess before I had been fortunate to have such mild epidurals.
But when she was born it was wonderful. She was beautiful and everyone was happy. She was so healthy with her big red cheeks. I could hardly believe she was actually born. Like always I was tired beyond belief and likewise as happy. Everyone was surprised she was under 8 lbs. She looked so big. When I held her for the first time she felt so heavy I think because my arms were so weak. I nursed right away and she was a little champ. I could tell she would be an easy baby to nurse.
We had her to ourselves for over two hours, it was lovely. Stewart called family to tell them the happy news while I nursed Genevieve and I ate some food for the first time that day. Stewart was beaming and I felt so grateful. We were very happy.
Our nurse came in and told us she had pulled some strings and got us the huge suite in the mother and baby floor. We loved both the nurses that helped me through my labor. They were kind, very attentive, and communicated to me very well everything that was going on. It was so nice. Our stay in the hospital was perfect. I felt wonderful and I got to keep little Genevieve the entire time. When the kids visited our room was so big they could actually stay for enough time for us to enjoy each other.
On Saturday we came home and Mom Ras had helped the kids decorate the house to welcome Genevieve and Me home. It was so sweet of her. I was so grateful for my time in the hospital where I could rest and bond with Genevieve without all the stress and commotion of being at home. Once I was home and well rested it felt nice to be there and be all together again. The kids loved her and we settled into life at home quickly with the help of Mom Ras there to keep the house going and everyone fed and happy. My recovery has certainly been the easiest I have had - though it is still happening. :) Besides being extremely tired I feel really really good. Genevieve is beautiful and sweet. We are all loving falling more and more in love with her. She really is an angel from Heaven. We adore her.
Bridger boy has always been such a source of joy, fun, and happiness for us. This year he has grown up so very much. It is so fun to watch him grow up into his own little person. Here are a few things we want to remember about our newly turned five year old Bridger:January 20th at 7:30 I am reporting to the labor and delivery floor of our local hospital to be induced! Thank Heavens! I cant wait to meet our little girl - and to be able to walk again. :O)
Someday I'll look back to the time before the baby was born and not remember how much I hated it :) so this is to remind me if/when we have another baby that it is totally normal to hate this time. ;) First, I have to admit that I am spoiled. I realize this. My husband has been home everyday and has almost no school right now which is fabulous beyond belief. I am not feeling well but its ok because he is around to pick up all the things I cant do with my not feeling great. I can't walk without a lot of pain because of my sciatic nerve being pinched to death by my descending baby. Besides that and other factors that make me feel generally miserable most the time the worst thing is the roller coaster of waiting.
Tuesday I was having major false labor when I was just about to start getting us in "going to the hospital mode" they started to space out and eventually stop. Everyday I try to not get all hopeful but I cant help wonder if "today" is the day. I have this glimmer of hope but by bedtime it is crushed and then in my tired state I have to mourn its death that "today" was not the day. I would be more easy going but I really wanted the baby to come like on Monday (I know you all roll your eyes at this but keep in mind that most my babies have been quite early) to try and space out the kids birthdays as much as possible. My due date is the 23 and Bridger's birthday is the 18th and Angeli's is the 26st. I really don't want their birthdays super close but its looking like I wont be able to avoid that. Bummer for the next 18 years of my life. :)
Pregnancy is just one of those humbling experiences where you have to learn time and time again that you have basically no control on how things go when you usually really care how they do turn out. Generally you cant predict when you'll be pregnant, you don't know how hard it will be, you have no idea how your body will misshapen and contort (yes, I used the word contort), and to cap it off you basically have no control when and how the baby will come. Beyond pregnancy you have no idea how hard it will be to recover, and you have no idea if your baby will be easy or a handful. In the end you have to just try and be up for anything - with your hormones stretched to their limits, mind you. You do your best to ensure things go how you want but many times it is futile. Don't get me wrong. It is beautiful. It really is such a sacred experience.The life changing experience to bring a child into this world is one that I cherish with my whole being BUT it is still very humbling.
So to the possible future me. Hang in there. This is just the way it is. That baby will come and you will get to hold them and in that moment all the trials you endured will fade away. All the relief of pain you've be longing for and the anticipation of joy you feel in that new perfect life will be fulfilled. It will be wonderful. Hang in there because you know it will certainly come - most likely not how you envisioned it - but it will come and be sweet in its own way that is so very worth it.
Lately I have been a bit obsessed with having a baby and Stewart leaving for his next two interviews this week that I haven't really taken the emotional time to think tons about my resolutions and such.
But now sitting here feeling I should write something about this new year I happen to find myself in I realize that this will be a really fun year. We'll hopefully be kicking it off with the birth of a healthy beautiful baby. Which we are planning on naming Genevieve Celeste Rasmussen - so pretty huh? Stewart just loves that name. Then be finding out where/if Stewart matched for residency, followed by graduation from med school, hopefully some vacations - so homesick for family, I hope to throw a reunion for my family this summer in San Diego (beach house baby!), have Stewart get his first pay check as a doctor and start residency, plus I want to run a half marathon this spring here in Reno - we'll see how in shape I can get post baby, I'd like to read the new Testament this year as that is what I am teaching this year in Primary, and I really hope to catch up on my scrapbooking.
All in all I just want to be happy, close to the Lord, and to be a good mother to my children. At the end of the day that's all that really matters to me. The rest is just extra little joys that I'd love to have too.
I think this is going to be a really good year for us. I am excited. :)
