Virginia City

Last year we headed to Virginia city for Memorial day and it started to snow so we left and didn't use all the tickets we had bought for the museums and trolly ride and stuff. So a whole year later we finally headed back wanting to fit it in before we moved.

Here we are last year...Genevieve was just a little baby! Oh, all my babies grow so much in a year!

We headed up on Wednesday when Stew had his day off. It was a pretty drive up there with really pretty views. Then we headed to the way it was museum and then did some shopping and got the kids some ice cream and then we did the tramp ride and the old school house museum. It was fun but a little weird too.

 It was a wild west town, it was a gold rush mining town where millions and millions of gold and silver were mined. Lots of the wealth that was made there helped build up San Fransisco with all its multimillionaires and hot shots of the time. It was interesting to see the old mines and how they worked and just how awful their conditions were and how deep they went down in the ground. They used so many trees from Tahoe to reinforce the mines and build the city up at its height that Tahoe was this ugly barren forest and the lake was dirty and full of waste - thank goodness for conservationists! On my mother's side there are miners, in fact my grand father was a miner before they came out west, so I appreciated learning what was involved in that hard life style. I guess on average a miner at that time would make something like $1.25  a day but in Virginia city they made 4.00 so it was the best pay for its time. Men came form all over the world to work there...in the grave yard there are interesting sections for the different nationalities and religious secs. One mine was so deep that it was located by a hot air vent and the miners were working in 145 degrees temperatures and could only work for ten minute shifts and then they had to be lifted out and go into a  refrigeration room to get their body temperatures back down before they could go back down the shaft again. Just crazy stuff like that. Mark Twain lived there for a time and at its height over 4,000 people called it home where today only a 1000 do. With lots of mining for gold and silver there was lots of gambling, and prostitution which are not my interests at all and it sort of bothers me that those things still go on there but I did love seeing what the ladies wore back then, playing with old type writers, seeing old medical equipment, and seeing giant old phones and such. It was cool to show the kids things how they used to be. I'm glad we had time to take a day trip up there.

Selling the Business

So I sold my business. I ended up selling it for half of what I wanted to sell it for but I was happy to train someone who I think will really be able to do it and I really think it will be a big blessing in her life. Getting everything together, setting aside the days and getting a babysitter for those days, and writing my very own 30 page training manual was really fun for me. I do a pretty good job at stuff like teaching, planning, and organizing stuff.  I loved organizing it all, writing my own little manual, and I loved teaching so it really was very fun for me. I really got to know the lady I was training, Robin, and I really count her as a friend. I am really excited for her and I hope she is really successful. :O)

It was fun to bust out my clay again after 15 months of no ceramics in my life. I realized I am good at it, I enjoy it and I really think they are so cute. It was fun to look back at my old work and see my current work and see how much I have improved over the four years I ran my little business. Today as I was packing I pulled out all the costumer orders I had saved and I counted that I had done at least 730 + ceramic impression items in those four years. I know that doesn't sound that impressive but if you know how much work goes into those babies then you would be a bit more impressed. ;O) It was so hard to run my own business but it was so good for me. It was such a blessing for our family and it really is one of the only trades I can do that is sort of unique. I mean how many people do you know who own a kiln? There is something so incredible about taking something so ugly and drab as clay and then turning it into something of lasting value. And besides the joy of creating, it is just fun to have had that identity of owning my own little business and to have worked with so many cute moms and even cuter babies. I fully intend to do all my grand babies hand prints and to keep it up for my family and girl friends who are interested.

I think the most amazing thing about my business was what it did for me and my self esteem and what it did for Stewart's and my relationship. He totally without any hesitation supported me all those years no mater how lame things were at times. I love him a thousand times over for pulling late night with me glazing trying to get orders done in time for Christmas and for telling me I was cool instead of crazy.

This was my last official Timeless Treasures item I made. Goodbye Timeless Treasures! You were good to me. :) 

Memorial Day Thoughts

I've been thinking about this experience I had once several years ago that really touched my heart. I was flying somewhere, I don't even remember where, but most of the plane had boarded and we were getting settled in and waiting for the plane to take off, it was seaming to take a while for us to get things going. When a Young handsome man in army fatigues came onto the plane with crutches and his right leg had been amputated at the knee. It appeared that his mother was with him. As he started to make his way down the isle all eyes were on him as we were already seated. And then a middle aged man started to clap, and then another person and another and soon the whole plane was clapping for him and then everyone started to stand as he made his way to a seat someone had made available for him. The spirit that was there was so tender and there were many there wiping away tears, me included. It was a remarkable moment. It was a tender moment. I was so grateful for the love that was shown for that young solider who had paid the price of his leg. I was grateful for freedom, for services, for our country that stands as a standard for freedom and democracy to the world, and I was grateful for the goodness of the hearts of everyone on that plane to honor that young man that way.

Good bless America. God bless our soldiers, past and present, who make terrible sacrifices to defend one of God's greatest gifts to his children, the freedom to choose.

Happy Memorial day.

Taking Time to Talk and Listen

So I have lost my journal and so you are getting this entry on blogger. :O)

Growing up my family was really good and talking and listening. We ALWAYS had family dinner together. Always. My mom is an exceptional cook and she has cooked daily dinners for her family for the past 50+ years. Isn't my mom a wonder?!?! We wanted to be there. Meals were delicious and the company was good.  Sundays dinners were special. We'd eat early in the day and then lounge around the table after dinner and talk. We seemed to always talk about the Gospel. I believe every discussion I had with my parents growing up always came back to the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Those talks and how exceptionally my mother listened to me helped shape the way I approach life and how everything to me is seen through Gospel eyes. If you've ever talked to me you've realized that basically everything comes back to my testimony of Jesus Christ. I think that is part of how I came to earth but I know it was largely the family I grew up in. The Gospel was what my mother and father treasured above all else and it was apparent through our interactions and conversations that I saw their example and followed it.

As my children are getting older I have had several promptings lately to create quite time where we can be quiet and thus open to real life conversation. I am really good at filling that quiet time with phone calls, or blogging, or putting on a movie for the kids while I get some chores done, or letting the kids' friends come over a bit too much. And those things aren't always bad but I am sure I have lost some tender teaching moment with my children because of that. I think when my kids are still at an age where they will soak up everything I teach them I realize what a shame that is. I realize while writing this that if I want my kids to turn off their future ipods and phones to take time to talk to me when they are teenagers then I better do that for them now. This world we live in is too vial, distracting, destructive, and secular that you cant just let things go by without the conscious effort to connect with them and combat the negative input that is thrown at them. I want to slow down the moments each day to really look into my children's eyes and listen to the things that they think about and to let them get a glimpse into the thoughts and feelings of my heart. I mean that is the treasure, the gift of being a stay at home mom. The impact a mother has on her children and thus generations of her family are tremendous. I want to have the best impact I can. Helaman said of the stripling warriors, "They rehearsed unto me the words of their mothers, saying: We do not doubt our mothers knew it" Alma 56:48. I want my children to know that they need not doubt when Santa battled against them because if for nothing else their mother knew it.

Today as I did my morning spiritual study I read the article "Taking Time to Talk and Listen"  by Rosemary M. Wixom the Primary General President in the April 2012 Ensign. It priced my heart and I am so grateful to have the spirit guide me to know what I can focus on to be a better mother. It was a perfect message for me to hear today. I had planned a quiet day at home since we have no school and Stewart is on call all day I thought it'd be nice to just stay home and pack some boxes, and go for a bike ride/walk with the kids and just spend time together. Today I will focus on communication with my kids and taking advantage of this quiet day with them. I bet I will have some great conversations with them.

And since I am obsessed right now.....I picture us in our new house in Tucson, and the reason I know it is the right home is that the family I picture us being there is exactly what I want for us. In this remarkable home where we can have fun and be interacting all day long...how perfect. This is going to be a really fabulous chapter of our lives. I can sense that the blessings of this new house will have a spiritual effect on our family. Its funny to say this but it makes me feel so blessed and humble to think that it  is exactly what I have been asking for the past two years. I wanted a bigger better version of our current house. I like us all together, I just wanted more room in our rooms, more windows, and place where we will feel edified and united as a family. Stewart will be so happy in this house he will LOVE playing with the kids and just adore what the house will bring to our family.  I love the feeling that great things are awaiting us. I love sensing the Lords vision for our family and it is such a beautiful vision. I am loving every moment of this new beginning. It is going to be lovely. Just 3 weeks and we are moving. I am cherishing the time we have left here and am so excited for the future we have there. Life is sweet.

Eclipse

So this is just kind of funky but I liked the pics we got of the eclipse...nothing really that note worthy but still it was a cool experience to watch the brightest time of day fade to an eery haze. It was neat to see the funny shadows the moon made on the streaming sun light that hit every thing around us. Kind of cool.

A Little Sister for Me.

I am the baby in my family of 12 kids. I really liked being in my family but I wished I wasn't the baby. I wanted to be ten years older and be able to help out more. I wanted to be in the action and not be the last one who was sort of left behind. In large families when you are the baby you spend about 80% of your existence cheering, loving, adoring, obsessing, praying for, caring, and admiring your older brothers and sisters and then one by one then grow up and move on with their lives and then you find when  your prom day comes that there isn't a crowd of little people starring up at you telling you that you are the pretties girl in the whole world. It is a little sad at times and a little lonely. But I was so blessed when I was teenager. I prayed my sibling back home. I literally did. I prayed that I would have some siblings close by and with in the year I had two brothers and three sisters move back to town. The Lord spoils me sometimes. ;) But I have always wanted a little sister. And that was a gift Stewart gave me. He has the most beautiful, kind, mature, fun, talented, and so fun to giggle with little sister Whitney. She is the little sister I always wanted. I adore her. I really count my in-law family and one of my most treasured possessions. I won the lottery when I married Stewart.

So this past week when we headed on our trek to Arizona to find us a house to live in we broke up the drive so we got to spend some time with Stewart's parents, Whitney, and  Great Grandma Rasmussen. It just so happened that little Miss Whit is approaching the end of her senior year...cant believe it! I mean she was only 9 when Stewart and I got married. tear. Anyways, The first weekend we were there she was prepping to take her senior pictures! Mom asked if I'd take them.Um, yes. What a fun thing to do! and I felt so flattered they'd ask me to do them! It was so fun. I helped her do her make up and pick out a wardrobe and then we headed to the park to play and take pictures. She is so beautiful it was a blast. And I got to be a big sister!


Then on our way back from our Arizona trip we arrived in Vegas on PROM DAY! Ahhhh! so fun. So again we got to do her hair, make-up, and dress her up like a princess and take pictures of her and her handsome Peeta look-a-like date. (Whitney said that when they won laser tag after the dance she thought just how very much they were like Peeta and Katniss! Winning the games! LOL I love that girl!) Anyways, I thought how grateful I was that we got to be there. Every youngest child deserves a little special attention and admiration after all the years they spend cheering for their older brothers and sisters. I hope Whitney knows that everyone cheers for her and adores her even if from afar. And maybe someday when she is married she will have a little sister too, and she can do her hair and adore her and watch her blossom into a perfect rose.

Here are some of my favorite pictures of my little sister. Its been a gift to watch her grow up and bloom into this amazing young women that is so virtuous and lovely. I love her to pieces.

Senior Portraits 

Prom Pictures

So here are the pictures

I didn't want to post pictures because they aren't the greatest...I was sort of embarrassed to be taking them so I just clicked really fast - they were showing us a house that was way above our range and so I felt like I was a total dreamer. PLUS, and this is a big PLUS, if you haven't been introduced to what houses and living is like in AZ then our house will seem lame in these pics, but from what I understand this house is basically the ideal traditional home for AZ. This is something I am still trying to get myself converted to. So this post is not to brag, it is the opposite. Its in an effort to try and talk myself into realizing that we won the lottery with this find of a house. Don't get me wrong, I really really like this house and I know its where the Lord wants us, and I know we will be happy there, but it is different then the white picket fence we all sort of think of. I have this sense that I don't really appreciate how awesome this house is so I am trying to unwrap this gift from Heavenly Father. Here are some things I have learned about AZ living and why this house is the BOMB. ;)

- NO grass....well, you can find it but it is three times harder to find in AZ then in a place like Vegas. AZ, especially Tucson, is not about elevating the dessert into a green oasis like Vegas does its about embracing it in its natural glory. Tucson is all about natural landscaping. There are TONS of trees/shrubbery things growing everywhere...hardly any space is manicured. giant cactus and flowers and green shrubs are the norm. And it all grows all by itself. It is a pretty desert there. The idyllic desert. So much prettier then any desert I have ever lived in. So those of you who are used to not even using sprinklers and enjoy huge green lawns prepare yourself for lots of gravel in these pictures! :) And if you can imagine us saying "wow, that's great there is gravel and its nice gravel!"...try, because gravel is a LOT better then dusty dirt...which is the norm in a rentals' back yard. :)

- location location location. Tucson is small (well, being said from a girl who grew up in LA) and so to wrap our heads around the different areas was pretty simple to do. This house search was all about location. Crime is a huge issue in Tucson with it being something like 100 miles from the boarder. With the drug wars going on in Mexico there is a lot of theft. Grab and run to the boarder in the norm. Advice from locals, get LoJack....good thing we've already got it. With the crime consideration in mind we decided that when people say don't live on that side of town you we wouldn't. seriously. Then the schools are important. AZ has amazing schools. Of course there are bad schools and ok schools but we knew that we could get an EXCELLENT education in Tucson for our kids since it is so common there. Knowing that, we made it our top priority to be in an A+ school. The tricky part was finding an A+ school that wasn't way out of the city limits. We didn't think we could afford a foothill house where the schools are great and the neighborhoods are still close enough to the city where everything is. I didn't want a 30 min. drive to the store like we have now  or longer as it was looking like it was going to be. Tucson is basically all street driving, freeways are sort of on the edge of town so you do not want to have to drive 30 minutes on the freeway just to get into town and then drive another 30 minutes to get to whatever store or appointment you need to be at. The thought of driving for hours each day trying to get to the places I need to on out of the way freeways and slow streets was not appealing to me. BUT Lucky for us we found a house that is right on the edge of the foothills area so we benefit from being in a great school area and are still really close to town and shopping. We will live within 10 minuets from everything I could want. YAY!  Plus our little school is just down the street. YAY! Our house is just down a ways from the Sabino Canyon Natural reserve area. One of the most beautiful desert locations you can think of. Hiking here we come! Oh, and least I forget Stewart can ride his bike to work! Not only will that save gas money but it will get him exercising which he hasn't done regularly since before med school. How fun for him to be able to ride again! He is super excited about it. His father's day gift will be a bike! :O)

-  An Arizona style home verse a traditional home. In AZ you don't want an upstairs. It gets too hot. You want to be as close to the ground as possible. You want brick walls, maybe with stucco on the outside and that is it. From what I gather, 30 years ago that was basically all that was built here...but with more and more conformity builders are building more traditional style homes, but old school locals will tell you old construction can be way better then new construction in AZ. And that is what we have. This house is so low to the ground it looks silly from the outside. We drove up and I just giggled at it. And the pic at the top really shows you what I mean. LOL What you don't see in that picture is that it is nice, totally re-painted and very well taken care of, on the other side of the front there is a huge cactus and some more shrubs and then this long drive way. I already have planned to plant some flowering shrubs in the front to give it at least a little curb appeal! LOL. But it is this squat little funny house set in the middle of what looks like half an acre of gravel. oh, giggle. But we walked in and it was so cool in there. Like the temperature was great without any AC. Really nice. And this house has a grand total of 9 ceiling fans, and they are all nice too.  I think we will be very comfortable there, plus they just put in a brand new AC unit. score!

- Out door living. besides the summer living, which is what the rest of us would mirror during the winter as far as staying inside all the time, AZ peeps are outside the rest of the year. And this house was built for outdoor living. We have three very large patios, one is so nice its called an Arizona room which has been fully screened, wired, and has a ceiling fan. It is huge. I think we will be using it as the kids play area/family room/ pool dry off place. :O)- insert my husband saying "and with what money will we be creating such a space" to which I replay "in time, in time".... - :)  In addition to that we have an wired outdoor covered dinning room and then a front porch which I am not sure what to do with just yet. maybe a seated swing thingy....who knows. Then we have a nice pool with a little slide which the kids are so excited about and then a really large gravel area which I hope to put the trampoline and a little swing set on. Then there is a little concrete area in the back corner that I think I would like to put the fire pit there and some chairs for when we roast marshmallows. In my dream world we'd buy the tent thing I saw on pintrest that goes on top of the trampoline and then we could do Fall and Spring camp-outs in the back yard: doing a BBQ, roasting marshmallows, going for a swim, and sleeping outside. Bridger would be in HEAVEN! Everyone, spring break at my house! :O)

- The Kitchen. I love the kitchen. hmmm. the Lord loves me. This is a cooking for company kitchen...or maybe just cooking for a family of 6 sort of kitchen :) but whichever, I love it. I have wanted a space for my kids to do their homework that wouldn't be also needed on a daily basis for something else like our DINNER! So what will I get to use? There is a very large bar that I plan on turning into the homework area. I think I will store paper, crayons, scissors, and stuff in the draws underneath and the kids will sit there while I cook dinner and do their homework until they get old enough to need their own quiet space to do their homework. I am really excited about that prospect. Plus there is a double oven...Thanksgiving will be so much easier with that extra oven. joy. (when stew saw the kitchen he said "and here is where you can cook so many yummy things for me!") LOL

- The Garage. The garage is Stewart's thing. It has a ceiling fan and a TV box and I can see Stewart going into his "DEN" and cutting his latest wood project watching a TV show while he sands and all that jazz. He'll love it. Plus there is a very long drive way which I know the kids will enjoy riding their bikes on. husband joy.

- Entertaining. We love to entertain. We have hosted many 20+ guest parties at our tiny house and now we will have a house that was built for entertaining. It really was built for a party. everything flows and with so many large gathering spaces that link together and link outside it is perfect for a Ward BBQ or something like that. Stewart said he will be so excited to host his radiology peeps over for dinners and stuff. He'll really enjoy that.

So that is basically the deal with this house. It has large closets, nice upgrades throughout including the bathrooms and kitchen and with weekly pool service included and essentially no yard care its the bomb Arizona living. the bedrooms are good sizes which is really a nice upgrade for us since our rooms are all very small currently. I think we are very blessed and we will be very happy there!



view from entry way

Riding Our Arizona Roller Coaster

Well it has been such a trip! The highs have been really great, and the lows have been really low. Sometimes I wonder if anything will ever go smoothly for us. ;-) But anyways we found a house in a "only god could have made this happen" sort of way. And after knowing its the house for us we have been fighting for it on the faith that we will be able to afford it. Its so interesting and sometimes annoying that as responsible and prayerful as we are Heavenly Father seems set on us being house poor forever. Lol I guess we are becoming experts on living on miracles and faith!

A month ago I was pondering on what I wanted, what I thought we would need, in Tucson and I realized that what I wanted wasn't my dream come true but a perfect place for stewart. I thought of how I knew we needed a "real" big family house and I knew that was going to be expensive but if I found some house and told stewart we needed this house with the proof of "I know it"....he'd be kind and go along with it but that he could very possibly resent it a little that he was working crazy hours just to pay for my dream house situation....that's hard for men when their wives seem to be spending all their money on things they didn't really want or think are nessasary. I wanted us to find a home he'd fall in love with. So I started to pray that we'd find a home Stewart would love and be happy in, I realized more then a big nice home I wanted my husband to trust, and love me and respect my judgement. I wanted him to trust that I could be the rational one instead of it always being him. I wanted him to be happy no matter what that might mean for me personally, his dreams are a huge priority to me not just mine. Then fast forward to this week. We are in Tucson and in a long round about way we end up at this home that was built for Stewart and it's great for our family too....and the kitchen was built for me with a double oven! :-), it has the things I really need and then all the extras for my husband that I unintentionally gloss over at times. Anyways, we are having to negociate the price down and it will be more then we can afford for the first six months or a year but yesterday when we finally made the decision to get it the spirit was so confirming and strong. I had the impression to let this be Stewart's decison I told him I'd be happy and supportive of whatever we chose whether it was making a crammped house work or being very careful with money and living in his dream home. I had the impression that this house was a gift to Stewart from Heavenly Father and it was his choice if he'd except it or not. It reminded me of when I decided to marry Stewart, I logically thought that was too much, too quick, but deep down I felt that this was a huge gift and opportunity from Heavenly Father and it was up to me except it or reject it. So my Man is excepting his very sweet personal gift from Heavenly Father and I know our ward, neighbors, and school will be perfect. It all has this cool unique Arizona vibe but still maintains the funny little quirks our homes/neighborhoods seem to always have. It is a home to entertian in. Stewart said he can imagine ward parties at our house just like his dad had when he was Bishop in Fresno. Stew said its a lot like the "Fresno house", which he said was the perfect house to grow up in. When we saw the house I kept laughing to myself because my husband kept "sparkling" that's what I call it when someone is so happy their eyes twinkle and they just cant hold back their happieness from oozeing out. And then in our final resolution of deciding to go for the house we get hit with this killer stomach flu that is making us feel like we are about to die. I told Stewart its the Lords way of keeping us from going to the houses we were supposed to go see today! LOL Lots of ups and downs, going on faith, and falling in love with the Lord's vision of Tucson for us. I think Tucson may be home for good. Something about it is just such a good fit - its very new and different but it feels like it will be a perfect fit. Its sweet to remember how much the Lord loves us and knows us so well. To realize just how much his hand is present in our lives is touching and humbling. And now let's hope we can survive our stomach flu! Its a beast.

pending change

The level of pending change in my life is tremendous. (the never ending pending sale of our house, the pending move, the pending buying of a new car, the pending trip to Tucson to pick out a rental home, pending pregnancy,....) I am so not good at being patient about it all. I cant wait until its time to actually act instead of waiting and trying to prepare. I just have to remember that it all comes in the Lord's timing and His timing is the always the best.

My best friend since I was 6 months old called me today and we were talking about our lives and how we both are in this odd limbo. We likened it to the Lord telling you that you have something great in store waiting for you down the road but then he blind folds you. He simply says "Walk".  You feel the spirit whisper that you must remember that the Lord is there by your side, that he is guiding you, and He will not let you get lost. And so you start to walk and there are obstacles that make you wonder if He is being as attentive and you think he should. But then at times you can feel him guide you,sometimes barley enough to keep you going. And all the while you just want to rip off the blind fold and run to reach your destination.

That is me this week. I am tentatively walking. We are making these huge decisions and I earnestly pray we are making the right choices.

Spring Break: Las Vegas

So early in the AM we, the Laings and I, loaded up our vans and headed to Vegas. We made great time and stopping in St. George to get Gas I decided to take the kids to the Dinosaur Museum and The Laings headed to D.I. The museum was fun, smaller then I had hoped but it was fun for the kids to get out and explore a little bit and then there was an outdoor sand box type thing were you could dig for dinosaur tracks and we played in that for a while and the Dogs even got to run around a bit. I thought it was funny that at this Dino museum one of their big claims to fame is that it is one of the worlds only known dinosaur bum impressions! LOL Its neat on a scientific side as then can see how they sat but funny to think that tons of people come to look at some animals butt impression. Too funny.

Then it was on to Grandma and Grandpa's house. We had a great time together. We played at the institute, Dad Ras borrowed a bounce house from a friend that the kids loved, we did a Hot dog roasting and smore night, played games, took Ben to Urgent Care (not Fun), went to the park, and stayed up at night giggling while we huddled in the corner of house to try not and wake Great Grandma Ras since we knew it wouldn't be pretty if we woke her and she thinks she's been left out of some sort of party.  - least you think we are mean... we offer her to join in with us but she says she's too tired and goes to bed and then forgets that we offered and comes out feeling badly that we are having fun without her. We love her like crazy, it must be so frustrating to not remember 99% of the things that happen to you everyday - moment to moment your memory fails you. What a hard thing. But we try to have a sense of humor about it while we try to be  compassionate and helpful to her too. Bless my mother-in-law's heart. I have learned so much about love, charity, and service from her watching her take care of her mother-in-law. If we all didn't need her so much she'd be translated by now. no joke.

The cousins loved it, the grown up kids loved, I hope the grandparents loved it too. We all had a fun time on our fun trip. :O) Viva Las Vegas!

Spring Break: Utah

 We were excited to head to Utah for some long overdue family time. It was stressful getting out the door this time. Twice I almost said we aren't going but lucky for me I had Stewart home early and he made everything fall into place. And we were so glad we went despite all the stress involved. Stewart had a golden weekend with two days off back to back, yes that is pathetic that that is a really exciting thing. He had to work 14 days straight to get it that way but we really wanted to take a trip to Utah before we moved and we knew Easter weekend, also the weekend Liz was blessing her baby, and the start of the kids spring break was the perfect time to go. So off we went. It was a treat to not have to worry about putting together and a making Easter special. Mom Ras, Grandma Larsen, Liz, and Becca did that for us. Bless their hearts!

On Saturday we spent the day at Grandma Larsen's. We dyed eggs, made bunny ears for all the kids, did an Easter egg hunt, played the kinects, decorated cupcakes, walked to our nostalgic Lion spark, tear. played ball, played it the stream, and sun bathed. It was a lovely day. I was so excited to meet baby Harlow. He is so sweet and cute. I loved holding a new born. I LOVE babies. Eee! I am an addict. It was so sweet to see Liz as a mommy and Nathan as a daddy. They are the cutest happiest little family ever. What a blessed little baby he is!

The Next day was Easter and blessing day. I loved being at Becca's so we could have the cousins all together and it was really fun to stay in their new beautiful house.  We basically had the basement to ourselves and seeing how it is the same size as our current house we were very comfortable! LOL :O) Easter morning we watched a spiritual little movie about the real meaning of Easter and then we lined the kids up youngest to oldest and they got their baskets and scattered Easter eggs. They were all so cute.

Then we rushed to get everyone ready for 9am church. And we did it, we were early even. go us! :O) the blessing was so sweet and we were glad to be there. After sacrament we headed over to the Provo cemetery to see Grandpa Rasmussen's grave. We talked about how because of the Atonement he and everyone that ever lived would be resurrected. It was neat. Then we took the kids home to change and then back to Liz's house for an Easter "linner". It was so nostalgic to be hanging out in "Grandma and Grandpa's" house just like old times. tear. After we ate it was time for Stew to fly back home. I was so sad he had to leave. But I guess a mans got to do what a mans got to do.We really missed him the rest of the trip.

 

 

 Then on Monday I headed to BYU where I met up with my Smith peeps. I got to see my oldest brother Bob, and his kids Ryan, Jared, Janine, his daughter in law Emily, and his grandson. Its still weird that my brother is a grandfather! I also got to meet up with Liz and Nathan too.  It was really fun to see everyone. I love hanging out with Bob, he gets me in my deep analytical conversations that is so Smith-ish and so it feels so homey to be with him. With all my siblings, when I get to see then after a long time apart I end up geeking out that these amazing people are related to be. We all look so different and have such varied ages its just so cool and they are all such amazing cool people. I'll keep thinking no one would think they are my siblings but they are! That is so cool that I am related to a big shot at BYU law school, a major surfer who lives in HB, a Air Force special intelligence guy, a dance teacher, a nurse, a major hospital maintenance manager, an engineer to be, a poet, and so on and so forth. I am so lucky to be able to claim them! Anyways, It was so crazy trying to keep track of the kids, and Genevieve was tired and sick and hungry so it was seriously crazy so I didn't bust out the camera. But I wish I had. :( I bought the kids some BYU gear and showed them around campus. I want to indoctrinate them early! and I am only half way joking here. :O) Plus I got myself some very needed Down East at the book store. yay! After we left campus I took the kids to see the Provo Temple in keeping with our family tradition to see the temple when on vacations. It was a really nice way to end our day out and about. And as a side note, I love how many American Flags you see in Utah. :O)

Later that night Becca hosted a Family home evening with our families and Aunt Mary Anne's family. It was so sweet of Mary Anne to come out to see us. It was crazy to see how grown up her family is getting. We roasted hot dogs and made smores and had a really great time. I once again didn't get out the camera. The single mom thing and how clingy Genevieve was being sort of killed my pictures taking energy. But once again I wish I had . :( By this point Becca and I had decided we wanted to trek down to Las Vegas for the rest of our Spring Breaks. So we planned to spend one more day having fun and then we'd head down on Wednesday BUT Genevieve had different plans.

I woke up Wednesday morning to her very labored breathing. She was really sick. I called Stewart and had him listen to her over the phone and he said I needed her to be seen asap. LeGrand gave her a blessing and Becca and I headed over to the close by Urgent care. Her oxygen level was 88% and her breaths per minute were 80 BPM. The nurse told us we'd probably be taking her to the hospital. But when we saw the doctor he recommended a breathing treatment to see if that would help and it did. He oxygen jumped up to 90% and her breaths slowed. I was so grateful and I was glad Becca was there with me because if she wasn't I would have been sobbing, but with her there I kept it together. It was like deja vu from her RSV when she was 11 days old. So the rest of the day was giving her breathing treatments, talking on the phone with my realtor with house drama, doing laundry and packing to leave the next day. Out went all my grand plans of doing Harlow's impressions, and seeing other extended family. bummer. By the end of the long long day I was deciding I would never go on a vacation again without Stew....four kids and two puppies and one mom is not a good ratio when the kids average age is 3.8.But I was just so glad Genevieve was okay. then I was up at 5 am to drive my kids to Vegas. yeah I was tired. Especially with waking up every hour because I was scared Genevieve wasn't breathing well enough so I had to go check on her. It was long but not long enough sort of night! LOL

In all I had forgotten how pretty Utah was and it was sooo nice to be with loved ones again. It was weird how at home we felt driving by the old apartments we lived in and going to lions park, going to the Provo temple and BYU...it was very nostalgic for me and it felt like we had never left. I will always have a very special place in my heart for Provo. It hosted one of the happiest times of my life, falling in love with Stewart and starting our little family. Its where the best decision of my life took place. I loved remembering those memories. Las Vegas will come as Spring Break: Vegas. :O)

On this Early Morning I've been reflecting

Life is so interesting. I have been on such an emotional and spiritual journey lately. Everything in my world has been in some form of change or struggle and it has been really a growing experience for me that I didn't even know I needed. It's been sort of a yin yang sort of growing. I have been gaining a very deep appreciation for myself and my divine nature. This deep sense of my Heavenly Father's love for me individually. But then in contrast I feel as though He has been ever so gently pointing out lots of areas where I need to improve, to grow, and be a better person. humbling.

Or in mothering, I have had some serious challenges with my children this year. I have spent more time on my knees by my bed pouring my heart out to the Lord and begging for guidance in how to mother and help them then ever before. And then with that has come this widening and deepening of love for them and a much more fine tuned sense of their divine nature and I love them more then I ever have before. I didn't think there was room to love them more but I guess there was. The concern and worry for them balanced with this love and sense of their divine nature has been an edifying contrast.

In almost every aspect of my life I have had a similar experience. A greater sense of love, joy, and growth with the balance of humility, realizing how much help I need, and a trial.

I guess the good, the joy, the love, the understanding, the improved insight is what comes from trials. My trials have been so very personal. Not the type to blog about or even tell anyone besides really your spouse or in my case my sister and mother who are my part time therapists! Bless their hearts for listening to me almost everyday! LOL

But it has been a miraculous time for me personally and as a family. I've been in this quite refiners fire and I feel humbled, though a bit more refined too, and I recognize I am still in the midst of it and that this will be needed throughout my life. So humbling to realize. But I am excited about the future. I am filled with gratitude that the Lord is my teacher and refiner. There is peace that comes from knowing that He is in charge, that I am on His path, and that my family is on his path also. And with that I have the reassurance that the future will be great.

I wonder what I and my family will be like in five years as our Tucson years are complete? Our Reno days are quickly coming to an end and it seems so very long ago that we moved here.

I am so excited to re-listen to conference. Everything I prayed about for extra guidance was provided to me in those amazing talks. And Pres. Uchtodorfs talk was an answer to me that I didn't know I needed either. But as humbling as it is to realize that when you thought you were great in that department ( :O) yikes!) is that I am glad to know it. So I can be happier and a better friend and family member. It really was the answer to my prayers in a way I never knew I needed.

Anyways, I am not sure what this post is really about but I felt like my blog needed an update and this is what is going on in my life. I guess in a way its odd to grow and change as a person when you are completely removed from any family. As I prepare for our trip to see family I think " Wow, I have been changing so much, I wonder how they have changed too?". Its sad to me on some level to think that. I am sad that my children are growing up with no family member to watch and love them too. I am sad I am so uninvolved in the lives of the people I love the most outside of my own little family. My Ward is my family in the regard. They are the people that serve me all the time, know where I will be and when, the ones who help me survive church without a husband, the ones who ask me "how was your day?", and I in-turn try to serve them too. I will miss them so much my heart just aches thinking about it. With my blood family I realize a large majority have very little idea whats going on in my life and I hate that I have no idea whats going on in theirs and that makes me sad. I wish I could be apart of their ward! :O) I wish I could offer to babysit so they can go to the temple, or plan play dates with the cousins,...dreaming. :O) Everyone is so busy you don't have time to be "close" to everyone in your family when your families are as huge as mine are. but I wish I could. The cool thing about family is that when the big stuff hits. when disasters and storms and illness strike they are the ones that carry you the most. Even if they are thousands of miles away. Its their prayers and deep love that make so much difference. Yes, they cant bring meals, but they offer their hearts. Its so neat to watch that happen when it does. But I'd rather have us get closer together in reunions rather then babies with serious heart surgeries or siblings with major life crisis!!! ;O) I think we need more family get-togethers! But with that I am excited I get to see some family soon! yippee! :D) Just four sleeps.

So if you read my blog and don't like the serious here are some coming attractions:

- Utah trip: Easter, baby Harlow baby blessing, visit to BYU, hanging with the Ras crew, Hanging with the Larsen crew, hanging with the Smith crew, hanging with my Utah family! :O)

- family pictures - I hope! We need one with Genevieve! It is going to be an interesting experience! LOL

Have a good day!