Reflecting Back 4 Years

Yesterday Stewart and I set to work cleaning and packing up the garage in anticipation of our moving. Yes, June 2012 is far away but with our house going on the market soon there is no knowing when we'll be moving somewhere else so we are starting early. All the packing and cleaning got me thinking about the last time we moved.

Four years ago this month Stewart and I packed up our little family and moved far away from all the comforts of Utah to face the unknown. We were leaving behind : family, friends, the safety net of UPS and their awesome insurance, the security of a grandmother as a landlord, and that comfort that comes when you know almost everyone you will interact with will be Mormon like yourself. Reno was a stretch for us.

We were so excited. We had so many hopes for our future in Reno/Sparks. We were buying our first home, we had the cutest little "Irish twins" the world has ever seen, we were actually going to meet people as the "Rasmussen family" not the little annoying newly weds, and I was all geared up to launch my little hand print business. It is funny to me that the things we weren't worried about became our struggles and the things we were worried about were the simplest and most enjoyable things in the end. Heavenly Father is so wise.

Stewart loved his medical school and with a few exceptions of some characters in his class he felt at home there and made what I believe will be life long friends. I was worried I would have a hard time making friends since in my last Ward that had been a struggle but in the end I made a lot of really wonderful friends that I will cherish forever. Once we got to Reno we became desperately poor. I cant even express how scared I was with our financial situation. Then the entire economy crashed and our home that was sucking us dry was suddenly worth hardly a thing. My business which I was told would easily bring in $1000 a month brought in almost nothing. We had one little car and I was stuck home by myself in Lockwood (which means all by myself with no where to go) a lot and it was lonely and scary. Our car broke down all the time and that was killing us too. We were homesick and we were in over our heads. There was so much we wanted right then but we had to wait and go without so many things...I mean I remember having so much anxiety about buying shampoo. I was buying a $1.89 bottle of shampoo and I seriously was considering if it was a true necessity or not. Bridger was not developing like he was supposed to and he had to be evaluated by the state and started receiving home therapy and group therapy. We heard so many conflicting things about him and how serious his disabilities were is was such a roller coaster. It was tough times.

But realizing we were in over our heads we had to leave it up to the Lord to make things work out. The miracles came. Sometimes in little things and at other times in big profound ways. It was the most humbling and strengthening experiences of our lives to get us through those first two years of medical school.

Then we knew we needed to have another baby which was really hard for me to commit to doing...we were just so poor and our hands were so full already with the busiest most high maintenance little 2 and 1 years olds ever. I mean the Bridger boy would break out of the house regularly and I'd be running down the street crying like a mad women so scared to death that he'd get hit by a car before I could find him. But we went forward and had Mr. Benjamin. He blessed our family so much. For some reason having him qualified us for a lot of blessings. Things instantly were easier once he was born.

Then we hit the third year of medical school and Stewart was gone for four months of the year in Vegas. That was an adventure. It was hard but in a lot of ways it was a happy time. Looking back I cant help but feel so grateful for that experience. I think my love and appreciation for my husband tripled during those months of separation.

By fourth year we were ready to have some fun! But the Lord threw us a curve ball and we were set to have another little baby right in the middle of interview season. And her pregnancy was the hardest to date. It really took everything out of me. When I think back on being pregnant I still get nauseous. Oh, it was a hard nine months. But the girl was born and she is this happy little lady baby. She thinks she is at least two years old. She has been worth all the pain it took getting her here. When she was sick in the hospital it was hard. It was scary. I know she was protected by the prayers of her family and the support of guardian angels. I honestly could feel them there by her side when she was so weak. Looking at our girl now you'd think she was indestructible. She has this solidness to her spirit I adore.

Then came the match. Matching was really hard for us. We honestly felt a bit unsure about where we wanted to go. Utah in theory was great but it never felt right, Sacramento had been a high choice for us but then for some reason neither of us wanted to go there when it came down to it, and at some point during the time when we were supposed to make our list Stewart put Tucson as number two and that is where we ended up. To this day Stewart can hardly remember his interview with them...we know very little about their program or what life is like in Tucson but we'll find out shortly. :O)

This next year has been interesting so far. We've had some fun adventures, got spanked by the first month of residency, fell in love with getting pay checks for the first time in four years, are excited that Stewart will never have to go to school again, and look forward to our little man starting kindergarten this year. Bridger is finally going to get some real expert evaluations and then treatments if needed. Our once depleted neighborhood is now full of young families and our kids run around with all their buddies on cloud nine. I am retiring my business and hopefully will be training someone to take over for me. It seems as though everything has come full circle.

I cant help but wonder what the next four years will bring... I wonder how Tucson will change us. I wonder how happy we will be there. I am nervous. Once again it is the unknown and last time we moved it was hard. I hope this time it is a little less traumatic of an adjustment! :O) Bridger cant wait, Angeli is dreading it, Benjamin doesn't know what it really means, and Genevieve won't have a single memory of our Nevada days. But I will. I will always be part Nevadan. Its forever in my blood and I am glad it is.

So there's my reflection on the past four years. We're not only older and plumper, we are so much wiser. I found this little video that I made right after we moved here...oh, we were so young. And aren't Bridger and Angeli too cute! The other day someone told Stewart he looked like he could be in high school. Ha! If they could have seen us four years ago. Man, it'd be nice to be that thin again. ; )