Bridger gave his first talk today in Primary. I thought I would post about how cute it was and how I was beaming with pride but it didn't really go that way. He practiced his little talk last night and we got to church early so he could practice it at the little stand. He has been so excited about his talk all week he even picked the topic and told me how he wanted it to be about Jesus. But when he got up to speak the kids were mean. They laughed at him and it wasn't a "oh, so cute." laugh it was "Why does he talk that way?" sort of mean laugh and he knew it. He has a tender little heart. I heard kids saying things like, "What language is he speaking?!?!?" and he looked up at me with big concerned eyes and I wanted to cry but I just had to smile and encouraged him to keep going.
He had a hard day after that. After his talk his classmate was yelling at him for not singing the words. He thought Bridger was just being lazy, but Bridger really has such a hard time singing, its not that he doesn't want to its that it is really hard for him. I wanted to jump in and tell the little kid to leave my boy alone but I was in the back of the room and then Bridger pushed him and then he got in trouble for pushing. Oh, it just hurts my heart. When I picked him up from class his teacher told me he was out of control today and how he was so surprised because he usually is the best behaved in class. But I knew why. When we got home he didn't want to talk about his talk. Finally after a little love he said, "The big kids were laughing at me." So many of those big kids are the kids he idealizes and looks up to. It broke his little heart. I was so hurt and mad and sad for him.
As a mom I want to protect him from that sort of ridicule but I know I cant. Parents how do you cope with situations like that? How do you help them be strong enough to ignore all the put downs? I can see how he is realizing that he doesn't talk like all the others kids and cant sing as well and I don't want him to equate that with feeling like he is any less then anyone else. He is still so bright eyed, excited about life, proud of each new thing he learns, and thrilled to be growing up. He loves people instantly and with his whole heart. I don't want people to steal that from him by their making him feel small.
Oh, I guess it was just one of those hard days. Tomorrow will be better.
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4 comments:
Poor Bridger. Hopefully he doesn't let it get to him too much. Darn bully kids!
Oh Emily, I hurt for you as I read this. I know exactly how you feel. I don't know how you cope with mean kids...especially the kids that are supposed to be the examples. One day Tracen said the prayer and everyone laughed and i wanted to cry, but luckily Tracen is in his own world and didn't notice that they were laughing at him. I wish that kids could be so much more accepting and not be so MEAN!!! i wish I had the answer for you.
Heres hoping for a better day tomorrow.
Emily, I thought he did a great job. It was so cute. I was mad at the big kids too. This week was tough...Kids were extra sensitive and rambunctious. He is so precious. I love seeing your beautiful kids every week. You are a wonderful mom and good example to my girls who look up to you. Thanks for being who you are...We love you..Bridger you did a wonderful job!!!
Its going to be okay. Don't worry. As one a little farther down the road with a child with speech problems, I can tell you, he is going to cont. to progress in his speech and the experience will cement compassion into his personality. Kids are so resilient --you're smile and proud encouragement will see him through and next time a little Sunbeam is going to give a talk, lecture the Primary about how we never laugh or say anything that might embarrass or hurt someone elses' feelings in Primary. And enforce it. If someone is laughing or commenting during someone else's talk walk up to them inconspiciously and shush them. Then next time Bridger goes up remind them beforehand of these rules. If you've discussed them before it won't feel as emotionally charged for you to discuss them before Bridger talks. I always give a lecture on not saying anything even if you're just commenting on how cute the little ones are, because they don't know what your gigles are for and it makes it harder for them to give their talks. Hope this helps! I love you and know that hurt as well. But I also know the joy of hearing Gwen say "fun" and "five" perfectly after 3 years of trying and feeling soooo proud of herself for finally working hard on her own to get it. And it makes it all okay aferall. :)
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