Thoughts: my husband, soccer, my house, and my kids are beautiful.

I am sick and I hate it. I have been "mothering up" as my mother calls it and doing my duty to keep my business running, food in the house, the kids fed, doing my calling, and doing the laundry, as I must, but as soon as Stewart gets home I am a useless mass laying on the couch or bed or what have you. he has been so sweet. I seriously cant tell you how great he has been. So good to me. Telling me how beautiful I am, never once saying a thing about how messy the house is, and he cleans up after dinner (often cooking it himself) and then plays with the kids and puts them to bed all by himself and then tucks me into bed promptly at 8:30. He's my hero. Today he said he'd hurry home as soon as possible to be a help to me. Love him.

The kids started this soccer camp yesterday and it is about the cutest thing I have ever seen. I have fun studying the parents reactions to their kids. There are the parents who are upset by the fact that their kid couldn't care less about soccer, the parents that are taking fifty million pictures and obviously so proud they can hardly contain themselves, and so forth. I am just having fun. I love seeing Bridger and Angeli's personalities come through in the way they approach the sport. Its just really fun. Someday I will be very excited to enroll Angie in ballet. She'd love it.

I love when people tell me my kids are beautiful and I know they really mean it. It makes me feel like they approve of my life choices to have these crazy little kids and when I am in this state that is really comforting.

My house has never been this messy for this long of time. I have to remind myself that slowly I will care again and have enough energy again to do something about it. Someday I'll remember that girl that was a natural work horse but for now I have to force myself to do anything at all.