Sweet to Sour

Last night I awoke to the strong need to vomit. That's how sick I am. I am not even free from my morning sickness in the middle of the night. I have the feeling that as I hit what I think will be week nine it will be accelerating even more. I am already not really keeping it together all that well. Oh, the days are soooooo long. Anyways, I am really sick. I am miserable every second of the day.

Okay, so that makes a person grumpy to be feeling awful constantly and then you toss in the messed up hormones and I am one emotional chick.

So with all that as a preface bare with my ranting. I am really disappointed. All of my excitements for this summer have been turned into mini trails. The sweet is now sour and that makes me sad. I know I should just be stronger but I am hormonal and in lots of pain so I am having a hard time with it.

Today I am so sad because our car's AC died again. All our trips this summer where I was already driving as a single mom with terrible morning sickness just got intolerably hot too. I honestly am thinking of just going out and buying a new car even though that would be absolute financial suicide for us. Or just not going to anything which would be tragic in its own right.

Then my sister is coming to town! I have been dying for a visitor for years. Not just a visitor to take care of me after having a baby or someone to crash while they are on their way to their real vacation but someone to come just to play with us - while we do appreciate those visits we've had I wanted to finally not be sick pregnant, not have the stomach flu and barely moved in, and not have just had a baby when someone came to visit. I have been seriously yearning for someone who actually wanted to just be with us and was here long enough to do some great things with us. So when my sister and best friend in the world said she was coming just because she wanted to play with me and see my little world I was so thrilled. I sent a major itinerary for her family to chose what meals sounded the best, if they wanted to go to Tahoe or this or that and it was going to be so fabulous!

BUT now she is coming and I will need her to take care of me. That camping trip we were going on together - they are going without us because Stew is working and I cant handle it on my own. Then the rest of their trip I will be so lame. I cant even feed myself let alone 11 other people. My house is a disaster. All my flowers are dyeing because I keep forgetting to water them. Oh, everything I dreamed is dying.

But in my defense I am trying to be filled with joy that we will have the gift of another child even though I am experienced enough to know what a fourth baby means. This morning I tried by listening to conference talks and what talk do I happen to pick? The one that talks about three different women dyeing in child birth. Awesome. :O) Oh, well. The irony did actually make me laugh a bit. Sigh. I better go try and feed my kids lunch. They are currently eating cereal out of boxes and drinking water that they all got by themselves. Ha.