Emily, Emily, Emily.

*me in San Diego on my honeymoon ;)

I am such a crazy sometimes. I am trying to be the best me and that is tricky. I have so much ambition! I often feel like I am looking out over the vast ocean of all the possibilities of my life and instead of taking in the view in a calm serene way I want to race to the water and jump in head first! My latest struggle has been focusing my energy (and I have lots of it) where it is most needed. You see I set a goal to simplify my life. So being a determined little lady I did just that. But then I was board. I ended up getting a little depressed. So I decided I had simplified too much. So I stepped up my ambition to my normal level. Oh, boy. I have so many goals, and commitments, and plans! I am so excited for them all. But I know where I am headed. I cant do them all right now like my mind keeps telling me to. My mind is a whirl these days! I am headed to "stressed over-extended land" where I will invariably start to drown because I tried to swim too fast, in too many different directions. What to do with myself?

As I was pondering and praying about my self made pitfalls I remembered the counsel I have personally received from the Lord over and over again, that being a mom is the most important thing I will ever do in my life and if I need to obsess and plan and create big projects then motherhood is the avenue to express that emilyness in. So I am back to the drawing board. I wonder what I should cut out, put on hold, and what I should add to my life?

- I should read longer to my kids each night
- I should get my kids to bed sooner
- I should feed them a more healthy diet
- I should play with them outside more now that it is slowly getting warmer
- I should have quiet prayer time more often
- I should have game time every night after dinner - it happens often but when I have kids with no homework it should happen more

- I should stop dreaming of all the home improvements I have lined up in my head
- I should stop baking treats so much
- I should stop being on the computer so much
- I should stay off the phone more

Which brings me to my next point...my husband is so perfect for me. He is a great support, he seriously helps me do all these grand visions I have for myself and our family - never complains that sweet man, never - but at the same time he reigns me in. It seems everyday he has to tell me that perhaps that idea I have can wait a year or two, or a month or two. Heaven bless him! Without him I am sure I would have completely drowned by now.