Benjie's First Encounter with the Buzzer

So this kid is too happy. I bust out the buzzer and he thinks it is fabulous. He laughs and laughs as I cut his hair. Really?!?!? Wasn't it supposed to be a hard experience? Not for this kid! On the contrary he thought it was very fun. And when it was all said and done we got a blond as can be hair ball and a very hansom Benja-Boo to show for it. Oh, how life is speeding past me.

Not sure what is coming his way.

Spotting the buzzer...yay!

Showing him that it doesn't hurt and him deciding it really is a tickle machine

Smiling as he braces himself for his first real buzz

Decides it feels just as tickly on his head.
And when we were done he wanted more and kept trying to hold it up to his head to get more

When that didn't work he thought he should give it a good taste. Not so yummy.

organizing, planning, writing lists, and setting goals.

There are few things I am good at. I cant wow an audience or dazzle the masses but there are four things that I am a natural at. They are: organizing, planning, writing lists, and setting goals. I guess its my way of creating a sense of control in a world that refuses to be controlled. However, it is not just a control issue. I need something to look forward to. And setting goals and planning in the form of lists and such gives me just that. It becomes fun and yes, even exciting for me.

Ex.) I have a residency blog for Stew and I. I do research on programs, different cities we might live in, test scores and whatever else I can get busy trying to organize information on, make lists about, plan for and set goals around. Yes, that is a little freakish. On our residency blog I an currently obsessed with the idea of us doing residency in San Fransisco. Mostly because their residency website gives me the most info to plan with but also because they treat their residents like real human beings ( Four weeks paid vacation, paternity leave, full medical benefits for our entire family, $10,000 extra money to help you afford life there,.... and in their pictures they really look happy) . Ending up there is really probably not going to happen (its one of the top schools in the nation, living there $$$$) but in the mean time I am enjoying the planning. To get to the point, my silly residency blog is a prime example.

Anyways, I found myself feeling a little down today so I spontaneously began to plan. I have been really absentminded lately and with three kids' destructive powers I have been losing things left and right . I therefore feel the need to safe guard these precious lists by posting them on my blog. So, with no further ado here are my lists.

Family fun I want to do this year:
- Weekend trip to Aunt Sue and Uncle Shaun's house and spending the day at Apple Hill picking apples and taking in Autumn. Then baking Apple goodies of course!
- Going to Virginia City to ride the steam engine, take the little trolley tour, and "step back in time"
- Go camping in our back yard again before it gets too cold
- Explore the canyon up from our house- really just ventured up there the other day and it was so beautiful in a Nevada way. We need to go hiking up there one of these days.
- Go to the pumpkin patch and corn maze
- Spend a Sunday afternoon walking the gardens at San Rafael and have a picnic dinner in the shade of the Fall foliage
- Do the Polar Express this winter
- Take the kids sledding
- build a real snowman

Projects we need to do with our house:
- refi
- get our patio done
- fix our nasty lawn - spider and weed central!
- finish our terraced sitting area
- put in our rock flower thingy in the front

Personal Projects:
- make my Christmas gifts - learn how to sew. Ahhhh!
- scrapbook my brag book pages for grandma
- learn how to digi scrap
- take our Christmas pictures
- finally lose those last few pounds - almost there. yay!
- finish the B.O.M.
- pull off our last primary quarterly activity

That should keep me busy for awhile. :O)

A Day In My Life

Today:
- we had a fun time at play group
- Benjie discovered chocolate and is a super big fan.
- Benjie started signing today. Cutest thing in the world
- chased wild horses with the kids- really fun
- Had the perfect weather
- Bridger's teacher interviewed me for a project she has to do for her Masters - actually really fun
- I sweat it up on my cross trainer
- I taught a FHE lesson on Fathers (getting ready for daddy to be coming home Eeee!)
- Bridger did his totally cute homework project
- cleaned two scary bathrooms
- Angeli played "Mary" carrying around baby Jesus for half the day
- watched the worst movie I have ever seen, A Thomas Movie Staring Alec Baldwin. HA!
- Played catch-up on my food blog
- made visiting teaching appointments
- made a tone of important boring calls -"pick up this KIRBY!"
- vacuumed up the the insides of my couch that were scattered around my house - a "BRIDGER EVAN" moment
- read about Ammom cutting off arms
- day dreamed about seeing Stewart tomorrow
- watched the office on hulu (bless hulu!)
- watched Angeli and Bridger get married
- ate chocolate chips for dinner
- read Halloween stories to my kiddos
- went to bed too late to get enough sleep but happy all the same

These are fun busy times that I always want to remember. Love it.

Happily Surprised

Today was a hard day. I felt awful all day, I was worn out, and basically on emotional life support. Then my Man calls me and tells me he is coming home early! Ummmmm, yay! He mooched off a friend to get some free plane tickets and is coming home early for a few days and then he'll go back to take his big written exam and drive right on back to us. He said he has been trying to study but just finds himself day dreaming about us. He really calls a million times a day if he isn't at the hospital which is the time that he should be hitting the books. Today I called him to tell him about Bridger's latest funny happening and I think that made him hit his limit and decided to find a way to come home. I think it will be refreshing for him and then he can start to care about his major test coming up in the next few days. Oh, and it will be just slightly awesome to not be a single mom for a couple days. Wooo Hoooo!

Rich!

I know few would realize it when they see me sporting my Walmart attire every day of the week but I am absolutely RICH! No, we did not win the Lotto or some HGTV give away. No, I am rich in a much more valuable way. I have got some serious family numbers! I came into the world absolutely obsessed with family. I would graffiti all over the walls of our house in tiny inconspicuous as possible 6 year old hand writing "I love my family." and when I thought it looked to obvious I would write "love, Mom" at the bottom hopping whoever noticed it would think it was mom who wrote it. Anyways, family is my favorite and having lots of family to love and to be loved by is simply wonderful. I have always believed that one of the best things about marrying Stewart was inheriting his family. It at least doubled my family love possibilities and that was a score in deed! I always get thinking about how much family I have every time a new baby enters into our extended family and with the birth of my new nephew Cable James Smith last week I have been thinking about it all over again. I just had to share how overwhelming blessed I feel to be able to claim all the family that I can. Not to mention what my kids are blessed with. They won't even know what to make of all their family members. They are seriously enfolded by spiritual giants on every side and I am so grateful to have so much to offer my children in the way of love, righteous examples, and support. So here are some fun figures about the family I've got:

4 living grandparents & grandparent-in-laws
2 parents
2 parent-in-laws
4 sisters
11 sister-in-laws
7 brothers
7 brother-in-laws
1 husband ;)
3 children
43 nieces and nephews (with 3 on the way)
8 Smith Aunts and Uncles
16(+/-) Smith cousins
5 Rasmussen Aunts and Uncles
11 Rasmussen cousins
12 Larsen Aunts and Uncles
40 Larsen cousins
1 great nephew (with 1 on the way)

Grand Total: 176 People to L-O-V-E
(with at least 4 on the way)

Yup, I am pretty much the richest person I know. Well, next to my husband that is. :)

Sunday thoughts as I sit at home

So I spend every waking moment with my kids and they are pretty much all who I see. Play group and things died this summer and all my girl friends are undergoing major life changes and are thus not in the state of play. Bummer. I was looking forward to Sunday. I was going to get play group going, I was going to set some some play dates, and I was going to get to TALK to someone over the age of 3. But alas Bridger started throwing up last night. Bummer. So I sit at home in my bath robe staring at my computer trying to readjust to my life with a sick kid in the equation. I am almost at the 2 week mark since I have seen Stewart. I have learned that at two weeks I hit my breaking point and sort of fall apart. My plan was to have lots of fun things planed for the next week but that plan was rejected along with the contents of Bridger's stomach. Luckily I like my kids and enjoy spending time with them but I have to admit I am getting needy. Like calling people all the time to see if they can chat only to feel lame as they tell me they are too busy to talk or don't return my messages. I then am an annoyance to them and who wants to be annoying? Its not that I am without things to do...I can tell you I have plenty to do! Its that I get so socially frustrated that I stop functioning. Example, yesterday I was so ready for social contact that I let the Kirby guys come into my house...well, they sort of tricked me. I thought they were a carpet cleaning company and just going to clean my living room and then give me a card to call them next time I need a carpet cleaned. Anyways, they weren't they were Kirby guys trying to sell me a Kirby. I would have showed them the door but it was sort of nice to have someone there to talk to. Really pathetic I know! But have you seen a Kirby ?!?!? Very cool! When they vacuumed my bed and got all that nasty stuff out I was hooked. They lied, like all good door-to-door salesmen do, and said all these things about the price and I bought the cool but rally so expensive thing. When they left I did the math and realized what they said did not add up. I could not pay it off "with 12 easy payments of...blah blah blah". Such a Bummer. In my shoppers remorse I will have to return the dumb thing which will be a hateful experience. Salesmen are your best friend when you are buying their product but the minute you aren't off goes the charm and they can be big jerks. So that will be a big bummer come Monday morning. I know this post is whinny and probably rather annoying but I guess I am writing this because I am needing to talk to someone but everyone is at church and I'm not. I am trying really hard to not think about how Stewart is surrounded by some of my favorite people celebrating Li'z homecoming. I am happy for him but then its the sort of situation where I call in my needy state and he's like, "Um, we are about to play cards can I call you later?" and then I feel all left out and losery. Bummer. So as I would have said in 1993 I am all bummed out!

But, true to my "Emilyiness" I am going to try to get positive. Planning is my best form of therapy so here I plan...Today I will: get ready for the day and even splurge and take a shower! My oh, My!!! Then I will get the kids into clothes! Fabulous start. Then I will finish up all the laundry from this week (I have two mountains the size of my bed to deal with with). Then I will do a little lesson from the nursery manual to try and recreate church for us. Pick up the house. Hopefully have our primary presidency meeting at my house if they aren't too scared to come with a sick kid around. Hopes of social interaction, YAY!!! Then I think we will take naps (honestly "we" will mean the kids since I hate taking naps). Go on a long walk and have a picnic dinner. Ok, I can do that. I can deal with a day like that.

Sigh. Smile. Go Forth.

Try, Try, Again!

When we are bombarded by all sorts of opposition we can learn from Benjamin's example and try, try, again. I have been try, try, again-ing for two days to get this video to upload and I finally just cut half of it out so you don't really see quite how many "obstacles" he ran into but this will give you the jist. Between the furniture and his siblings he had a hard time getting a good stretch of walking in. But its so cute to watch and see how his siblings are such good cheerleaders and yet such big obstacles! Stewart can you believe how grown up he is!??!?! Oh, and such a looker too! ;)

September 9, 1928

On September 9, 1928 Merlin C. Smith was born. He was born into a very poor Seventh-day Adventist family in the middle of the Salt Lake Valley. He was raised by a hard working, Christ centered single mother with four other brothers. As a boy school was hard, money was scare, and the Mormon boys constantly picked on him. But he determined do accomplish grand things. As is his motto in life he "worked, worked, worked" and achieved what few people thought he ever could. Now 81 years later he has lived a beautiful life filled with lots of kids :), endless service to the Lord, and a record of healing many people as a talented surgeon and doctor. He has never taken it slow and is the busiest 81 year old you will ever meet. He is quick to smile, slow to anger, and generous beyond reason. He was a pioneer in the gospel and through his posterity alone has brought 47 (and counting yay! Carolyn!!!) people into the gospel. He has taught me to never underestimate the power of hard work, to always let the Lord lead my life, that no tragedy is too hard to endure, that no cost out weighs ones integrity, and that there is beauty in all of God's children. He is my hero. He is my Daddy.

Happy Birthday Daddy!
We Love You!

*his high school graduation picture. Whenever I look at younger pictures of my daddy I realize just how much I look like him. :) Do you see it too?

He's Had 9 In and 9 Out

Benjamin is now nine months old. This age always seems significant because it marks their being out side my tummy as long as they were in it. Benjamin is such a joy. He is such a sweet good baby. He has grown up so much in these few short weeks. He lives mostly on solids and he is getting a little more clingy...mom and dad's proximity are mattering more and more these days. He'll smile at everyone but if they get too close he clings to me letting me know that he does not want to be passed off to them. I sort of like knowing I am a favorite over complete strangers. HE has gotten BUSY! No more sitting still and smiling at the camera. Nope, there is a world to be discovered and time is of the essence!

Tricks: clapping, peek-a-boo, feeding himself, climbing, wrestling, takes off his own diaper, tries to feed mommy and thinks that is delightful, learning how to stand up on his own, cruising around holding on to furniture, dances to music (bouncing and clapping as soon as he hears it start), giving kisses, pinching harder then you thought possible, pointing, and mastering more vowel consonant combos.

Loves: cuddling, Nilla Wafers, Chicken in a Biskit, studying his siblings and being their shadow, being held, wrestling on mommy and daddy's bed, group hugs, sticking out his tongue, making his family laugh, and putting everything he can into his mouth.

He has always seemed grown up to me but lately I am freaking out a bit to see him just so very big. I am excited to watch as he keeps growing up and so I can see more of his personality shine. I often think about how grateful I am to be his mommy. There is just something about him that I adored from the moment I knew I was pregnant with him. I could seriously hold him and kiss him all day long. Benjamin, your hugs and kisses your sounds, and smiles are some of my most cherished highlights of my day. We all think you are the bestest Benjamin ever!

Weight: 21.2 pounds
Length: 28 inches
Head Circumference: 18.5 inches

He's a Hillside Hawk Now!

When I returned home I had lots of messages from our local elementary school asking if we'd like Bridger enrolled in preschool for this school year. I was thrilled it seemed too good to be true. But it really is true! They started a preschool for 3-5 year olds. Bridger's speech therapist and the little ladies who run the school held a spot for him even though there was a waiting list. I am so grateful! We arrived in town after they had already had their first week so we hurried and got him registered asap. It is FREE with breakfast and lunch provided. We love their teacher Mrs. Peabody. "Peabody", as the kids call her, is kind but firm and gives Bridger's hugs...these are all things Bridger needs. Bridger will love it I know already! Now I will have time to do one-on-one mommy preschool with Angeli which will be the best format for her to learn in. I was so stressed about meeting my children's needs and then this fell in our laps. I cant help but think it is a tender mercy. Next year Angeli will be going too! I cant believe how fast they are growing up.

When I dropped him off I was tearing up. I just couldn't believe how grown up he was that he was already going to be starting school. He looked so grown up with his backpack on and everything. I stayed for breakfast and the pledge of allegiance and then I walked him to his class at which point he was very ready to have me leave. He gave me a big hug and kiss and ran off. I stood there for five minutes just watching him all teary eyed.

When I picked him up he was all smiles showing me his beautiful artwork he had made. Angeli and Bridger embraced and they both took turns telling each other that they missed the other one. It was sweet. These two have hardly ever been separated.
* I know I am over doing it with all these pics and all my blogging in general but it's my way of sharing our life with daddy so please forgive my over zealousness. :)

Oh, my heart is so full today. My kids are growing up so quickly. Sigh

Opening the doors to school!

eating breakfast...they let Angeli eat too :)

Getting into line to go to class

Walking to class all by himself...well, without his mommy.

*this school is really so small town and quaint. There are like 45 kids (if even that) in the entire school. There are like three classes at the school with the grades combined. All the teachers have introduced themselves to me and the kids. Really the friendliest people ever. I think I know the entire school staff by name now. We all live in the same little community and see each other all the time. It is really fun. When we dropped Bridger off and Angeli, Benjie and I were walking out of the school she had to say goodbye to the office lady in her office...so cute to have that sort of atmosphere. :) I think it will be a really good setting for my kids to kick off their education.

"I want to go to Jesus' house."

When my kids settle down enough to let us have a meaningful scripture study they are meaningful. :) We were reading in Mosiah where King Benjamin tells of how an angel came to him and as I tried to put those verses in kid talk it opened up a great discussion about how Jesus lives "up high in the sky in heaven!" Bridger exclaimed that he wanted to go to "Jesus' house". We talked about how we all want to live with him again and that is why we work hard to do what is right so we can return to heaven after we die. We talked about death and resurrection, and about eternal families. And Bridger kept expressing how he wanted to go to Jesus' house but didn't really want to have to die to do that. We finally caught the cue and Stewart said (via the cell phone) "temples are Jesus' houses on earth and we can go there and be in Jesus' house" while we are alive." Bridger and Angeli had a hard time wrapping their minds around that after we just explained that Jesus lives in heaven so we settled on telling them that they were his really small houses on earth that he sometimes goes to but that his really big house, that He lives in most the time, was up in heaven. They seemed pleased with that explanation. Bridger and Angeli were beaming and Bridger even got tears in his eyes. We told them that the warm happy feeling they were feeling was the Spirit. That its like feeling the love Jesus and Heavenly Father have for you. Feeling that they are close by even though you cant see them....and why it is important to reverent!!!! "If you sit still its easier to feel their love"... Reverence is a big topic of discussion at our house. :)

So after our very sweet scripture study I announced that we were going to go to the temple the next day for FHE. The kids were pleased with that and I sent them off to bed.

The entire next day we spent talking about how great it was going to be to go the temple, Jesus' very own house! As I got Angeli dressed in her little sun dress she was ecstatic. In her mind temples and castles are interchangeable and every girl knows that the most important thing to happen in castles and temples is that YOU GET MARRIED! She knew she was going to the temple and that meant marriage. She kept telling Bridger as she looked down at her dress "Look, I'm a princess! We are going to the temple and we are getting married!" It was the sweetest thing. I tried to explain but she'd have none of it. When she hurried out to the car she called to her Bridger, "Come on Bidger. We are going to get married!"

When we arrived the gates were locked which I was afraid of but we walked around the very out side of the temple anyways. Angeli was crushed that the gates were locked hindering from going inside to get married. She shed a few tears over that one. :) It was fun to show the kids Angel Moroni and tell them how he was going to blow his trumpet to let us know when Jesus was coming again. Bridger was relieved to know someone was making sure it was going to happen and would be on top of letting us know when it did.

The entire time Stewart was on the phone with us taking part in our FHE. Thank goodness for CELL PHONES! We missed him. However, its really good to know that no matter how we are parted we will have eternity side by side.

"We love to see the temple..."

Giving a flower to his bride to be ;)
Pointing to Angel Moroni - at least that's what I like to think ;)

So this is the best I could do for a group picture...fun memories ;)

And of course the daddy was there too!

Bridger, Bridger, Bridger.

If you have ever met this kid we call Bridger then it would be apparent to you that he is unique. He is not the model child that wows his audience by his preforming like a little adult. No, he is pure kid. He has TONS of energy, TONS of imagination, and TONS of emotion bursting out ALL the time. He is a joy but I have to admit he is a very big handful of Bridgerness. At various moments of being his mother I have asked myself, "is it just me or is it ten times the work to raise Bridger then it is for every other kid in this world?" I often am thankful he was our first. We had no idea that he took so much extra energy to raise. We just loved him to pieces and thought every other child was boring and lacking in personality in comparison. This past summer as we lived in other people's homes it became even more apparent as they too found him a really fun, enjoyable, and mischievous handful. I asked both my mother and my mother-in-law for advice seeing how I love how their kids have turned out. Both sincerely said they had no idea what I could do to rein in my Bridger. They both said, " I never had a Bridger." While it made me feel a little worried I have to say it was a little validating to hear that I am not a bad mom, I just have a boy with five times the energy and "creativity" then the average child. I mean, as I type this he has unrolled a role of toilet paper and is now making me into "a princess" with it. I am adorned with a crown, a necklace, three bracelets, one ring and one slipper beautifully made out of toilet paper. How could you not love and hate that simultaneously?!?!? So cute right?!? And yet I just lost a roll of toilet paper and have half an hour of picking up tiny pieces of toilet paper ahead of me. I LOVE this kid like crazy and never want him to lose what makes him so wonderfully him but it is good to know that when I have moments of trying my hardest to not pull my hair out that it is not a reflection of my poor parenting skills but just part of the mostly fabulous job I've got as his mother.

The other night as I talked to my niece (she is 24) about how it was to raise Bridger and worried out load that I was doing a terrible job she cut me off and told me how great I was doing. She said she watched me with him and was so impressed with how well I do with him. She said I was the perfect mother for him. I cant tell you how much it means to me to hear that. I often get looks and comments of disapproval that usually just roll off my back but sometimes they add up and I start to get me all sad. So I am glad that someone sees a method to my madness as I try to be a good mother to this Bridger Man. I like to think that he's a free spirit brought to this world to tackle giants and spread around some joy.

He just asked me to marry him. So sweet. This boy has such a big heart! He has a tender heart...he loves deeply, he loves being loved, he loves to upset people but hates to disappoint, he loves to laugh and cuddle, he loves to run and jump and play, he loves to fight and kill every bad guy he can find, he has little interest in sitting still and reflecting on the serious things in life but when he dose it changes him and impacts him deeply, he has an insatiable sweet tooth, he has a beautiful testimony and often tells me that he wants "Jesus to come down to be with us."

Bridger, you are such a perfect fit for me. You help me where I am lacking(being spontaneous, playful, and wild) and I help you where you need it (show you that you are cherished and loved, how to be reverent and gentle, and to heal your "broken heart").

Your daddy loves you with his whole heart. I saw it the moment you were born. I will never forget the love that was present in those first hours after your birth. I have rarely seen your daddy so utterly over joyed. I know he has a very special place in his heart for you. He gets homesick for you so easily and has been missing you very much.

Bridger even though you get into trouble at least 20 times a day I am so glad its me who gets to stick you in timeout, cuddle you, tackle you, read to you, talk to you all day long, and tuck you in at night. I just love being your mommy. Thanks for picking us to be your parents. We count it as a great and FUN honor to have our hands filled by you.