That is my favorite movie of all time, It's a Wonderful Life. It's the story of a man who lives a life very unglamorous and yet so very important and blessed. He realizes in the end that he really has lived the life he really wants after all. He finds that he is living a Wonderful Life.
Those are my feelings about my life these days. I really am living such a wonderful life. I have everything I really want despite all the things I don't have. :) It's a happy place to be. Why am I writing this? The other day I was at Tahoe with some friends and as we watched our children playing on the beach one lady introduced me to her sister who's husband had just finished his long haul of med school, residency, and fellowship. I told her we were just starting out in med school and she looked at me with the most tired look on her face and said, "I never would want to be where you are at again. Good Luck." And then turned away looking even more tired and board then before. I am sure she is a great lady...this is not a slam on her, but it got me thinking.
What a depressing sentiment. I silently promised to never say that to anyone when we are done. It may very well be true but I hope I can at least appreciate the journey and joys along the way. As I sat there deciding what to make of her feelings I took inventory on how I really felt about my life and I decided I was pretty darn happy no matter what other's might think of my state. I like to think I am not one of those annoying people that gush all the time about how great their lives are... no, I rather like to think I am more like the man in It's a Wonderful Life. Grateful for the humble things. Lets face it, I am a extremely worn out pregnant mother of two very hyper toddlers, with almost constant ailments like terrible aching legs, a sore hip so every step is painful, nausea, heartburn,.... facing a budget of $100 a month to spend on my family's needs, trying to run my pathetic home business, trying to serve in my calling and feeling a little lame at it, and facing the looming threat of my husband starting a very challenging second year of med school and board exams! BUT, darn it, I am very happy! ;) I could be sad and live with my challenges or I could be happy and live with my challenges. I think it's evident which side I have chosen. Ultimately I believe in having dreams set in our "somedays", but I also believe in today.
And with that little tirade here are some 20 week pictures of me and my belly. I am getting excited to meet this little man growing inside me. I think he is going to be a beautiful little fatty. :() ) I thought his legs looked really chubby on the ultrasound, or maybe that really is just my hoping he is sharing more of my weight gain! ;) Anyways, there I be.
2020 goals
6 years ago
8 comments:
You're beautiful Emily!
You look so beautiful. As for that comment from the other mom...I hate when people do that. I hate when people who are some years ahead of wherever you're at have to spell gloom and doom. I've had that sort of thing happen when they look at my young kids and say, "you think it's hard now, just wait until they're teenagers". What's the point???? Every stage has its challenges and joys.
Oh I am SO there with you!!! In every way! I've decided to just enjoy everything and take it one step at a time. Second year hasn't been too bad so far. I just can't wait till I'm done being pregnant so I can get back to having my body and energy back.
That is so neat-the perspective you have. It IS better to enjoy life, no matter what it gives you. I am glad you blogged about it-it will be a great inspiration for your kids someday.
I do have to admit though, I probably will be like the woman you saw at the lake in a couple of years, even though I am going to try my darndest not to. Residency is a whole new ball game, a whole new set of things I never saw coming, a tired husband, a tired ME, etc. but it is about ENJOYING it, not dreading it. I need to remember that. We are just about adjusted but I don't know if I will EVER wish the residency years upon us again. Medical school was a little bit more fun of an experience. I'll let you know in about 4 years and 10 months though-that may all change!!! Maybe I'll still be smiling...we'll see. LOL!!
You look beautiful! Half way done...you are on the decline now! Congrats!
I'll be calling soon...I promise. Ammon will be gone again tomorrow night...I'll need someone to chat with! ;-)
you are a cute little prego! What a great mom you are! :0) You aren't afriad of life's challenges or hard work, what a great quality to have!
you're inspiring...i may read this in a year when we're in the midst of PT school and living on student loans. i love your optimism. and you look great by the way! perfect for 20 weeks along!
I think the statement from the sister was merely a statement of her own feelings of where she is in her own life and really wasn't meant for you to hear. I've heard mom's tell me the same thing when I am just starting out pregnancy and they are nearing the end or have just delivered. I, myself, am feeling excited for myself, as I should be, I'm at the beginning. But when I am at the end and someone is just starting out, the idea is just so tiring and I find myself thinking the same thing, "oh, I'd die if I was still only two months along still" But that is only because I've just been through the long nine months of it already. Of course I'd feel that way. But that is only because it is so very hard to really see things from other people's perspectives and we are often living in our own bubbles of perspectives. We are all at different places, so of course that lady would feel that way.. she's just finishing. She would hate to have to start over again. Just as I would hate to start over again with the same pregnancy,... yet I can be patient and excited in the beginning months of a pregnancy. Sometimes I think that we are often able to be happier with our own lives than others would be, because we are in them and live in them with our own time tables and perspectives.
As usual, you look hot!
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